Nah i want her to see her husband shagging another woman just to make her realize her delu...

Honestly, I'm usually not this upset by a comment, but what you said was downright disgusting. I know ur trying to be supportive but how can you blame the victim when it is clearly not her fault? You criticized the woman for not "learning her lesson" or growing a "thick skin" despite her hardships, implying that her situation is somehow her fault or that she should have made different choices to avoid it. This shows that you have never been in an abusive relationship and think that it's easy to just break off the relationship. Or perhaps you have never had abusive parents who constantly fight and argue with each other yet still are together.

Abusive men are masters of making excuses. They believe that everyone and everything except themselves is responsible for their actions. Nothing is ever their fault. They blame something or someone for anything that goes wrong. Over time, the target of their blame increasingly becomes the victim. They try to fill the victim's head with excuses and distortions, keeping them weighed down with self-doubt and self-blame. Unfortunately, much of society tends to follow along unsuspectingly, helping the abuser to close the victim's eyes and their own. This is what you are doing right now. The ex in question is always blaming her, calling her ugly, saying that only he will love her, and that she should be thankful because no one will love her as much as he does.

I have more to say but I'm just gonna link my own comment here bc I explain it much better.

https://www.mangago.zone/home/mangatopic/16405856/

Before you say, "I never meant to victim blame her," let me pinpoint the problematic aspects of your statements.

1. "Nah I want her to see her husband shagging another woman just to make her realize her deluluness."
- This statement implies that the woman needs to witness her husband's infidelity to understand her supposed "delusion." It suggests that her current perception is wrong and places the burden of realization on her, rather than holding the husband accountable for his actions. She is not delusional; she has been brainwashed and controlled by her ex, who made her believe his behavior was acceptable. Victims of abuse often cling to hope for change due to promises made by their abusers, emotional attachment, or fear of leaving. By labeling her as delusional, you invalidates her lived experiences and the coping mechanisms she has developed to survive.

2. "She’s been treated like shit by her husband and experienced extreme hardship and poverty ever SINCE A CHILD."
- While you acknowledge her long history of mistreatment and poverty, you set the stage for criticism instead. Rather than using this information to elicit understanding, you imply that she should have developed better coping mechanisms by now. You suggests that she is at fault for not escaping her situation, despite the fact that it's not her fault.

3. "GIRL Didn’t you learn your lesson FROM THE START. How hard life is. Dont you wanna get out of it?"
- This statement directly questions her ability to learn from her past experiences. It suggests that she should have recognized the harsh realities of life and taken steps to improve her situation. This fails to acknowledge the many barriers victims of abuse face, such as financial dependency, fear of further violence, lack of support systems, and psychological trauma. By implying that her current situation is a result of her failure to learn or act, you unfairly place responsibility on the victim for not escaping her circumstances. In simple terms you are saying that the mc should had learned from her mistakes, and that she is to blame for her current situation.

4. "Didn’t you learn to grow though skin? How did you survive if you have an attitude like this?"
- You criticize the woman for not developing a tougher demeanor ("thick skin") in response to her hardships. It implies that her attitude is a key factor in her inability to escape her situation, suggesting that resilience and toughness are the only ways to survive and improve one's circumstances. However, this fails to recognize the psychological impact of prolonged abuse and poverty, which can erode a person's self-esteem, hope, and decision-making abilities. It blames the victim for not embodying an idealized form of resilience.

5. "Girl we poor people dont just survive we work smart. We have dreams, we are molded by the hardships in life, we mature fast and we should easily realize right from wrong."
- This statement implies that those who face hardships should automatically develop certain positive traits—working smart, having dreams, maturing quickly, and discerning right from wrong. By holding her to this standard, you dismiss the individual variations in how people cope with trauma and adversity. You blame her for not living up to this ideal, ignoring the complex interplay of factors that influence a person's ability to respond to and overcome hardship.

In abusive/manipulation relationship, the only one at fault is the abuser/ manipulator. There is no justification or excuse. Blaming the victim and turning a blind eye is being the abuser's accomplice. Excusing, justifying, minimizing, or denying the abuse is victim blaming.

If you read all this I hope you realize what you say and should take accountable bc to me what you say is what you think of abusive/manipulative victim. If you didn't I don't really care even tho I wrote this fat ass shit so I guess I really do care but I'm putting this down for all the other user to realize you all are somewhat and some way vicitm blaming. Even if your saying "your too pretty to be going through this. Stand up for yourself"

I bet we all would act the same way as her

ATEEE bc this kinda mindset is so harmful, so many victims feel shame ab their situation bc of this

life has a way of making u eat ur own words bestie

Honestly, l am humbled by this long statement lmao but yeah I apologize for all the victims of manipulation. After reading all that you pointed out I just realized that what I said was indeed wrong and off putting. A close family of mine was also a victim of manipulation and as a kid i always wondered why don’t they just walk away. But, after all that you pointed out I just realized that it is indeed not easy to just “walk away” specially when the manipulator has a choke hold on you. I didn’t realize what I said was victim blaming until you pointed it out. Honestly, Im glad that you did because you just changed the way I perceive things on this kind of topic.

I was planning to delete my comment but since all that you said and pointed out is actually a good spread of awareness on this kind of mindset I decided not to.

I apologize to the people who are victims of manipulation that got triggered by my comment. I acknowledge my mistake.

wtf ur way too mature for this site

Lmaoooo

Thank you for acknowledging this. As a victim of an abusive relationship and someone who has experienced family conflicts, I have done extensive research and studies on this subject. It's often difficult for outsiders to understand why someone doesn't simply leave an abusive partner, despite it being much harder than it appears. Normally, I don't get too upset about such comments, as they're common, but your words did affect me. I appreciate your recognition and understanding.

I apologize for my comment honestly It was just a burst of emotion the story was too good that it affected me in that way lmao Anyway, you’re so brave on continuing to be strong amidst of all the abuse you have experienced. I hope you continue to be brave. Your statement made me realize and understand how important it is to spread awareness in this kind of issues. As a person who was ignorant in these kinds of things it’s easy for me to just spread offensive words just because how little i know about abusive relationships.

As an act of spreading awareness I decided to not delete my disgusting comment lmao just to for people to see your statement on it.

Again I apologize for what i did and thank you for accepting my apology. I never intended to spread hate. I hope we could be friends.

HAHAHAHHA

I feel like if she saw her hsuband fcking sm1 else she would js brush it off which i do hope she doesn't