Same here, I stop a lot of times during that scene and eventually just skipped it before I continue reading the story, aside from the rape parts this story have a lot of potential (for me)
I usually can feel nothing with those scenes other than mild frustration because I think it’s lazy writing in bl stories and it’s often romanticized. But they really were able to make me physically uncomfortable in this, like the scene was just revolting and triggering. I’m just confused on what the goal was, was it to really bore into our minds that he’s terrible and not to expect anything out of him? Or is it going to go the lazy route and somehow skip over the trauma and make it be seen as romantic?
I hope it will not become like the other BL stories that the mc would fall in love after being rape a lot of times if the ml simply treat them kindly a little bit, if that man really is the male lead, I hope he does a lot of effort to win the mc.
I think it's because it's in apocalypse settings that the author wants to normalised the blood, or perhaps you are right that they want the ml to appear more insane for doing so, but I think the ml is half zombie. I don't know; I simply feel it. (￣∇￣")
Am I the only one disgusted at how much focus the put on the fact he was ripped and bleeding? Was the goal to make you uncomfortable so you’re aware of how unhinged the red/blue eyed guy was? Or is to appeal to the noncon crowd?