You obviously don’t understand this character
Come on man, how did he get into a situation with the first brother where he listened to his bullshit and was supposedly being “trained” to re-enter society and wasn’t able to get a job at the end of all that creepy garbage nor even have the skills to get one. Why did he have to masturbate in front of that psycho directly into the toilet and allow that pervert to be there to “supervise” him. It even escalated into bdsm play and an inordinate amount of piercings and tattoos. This type of abuse happens gradually over the years and escalates slowly, the victim is usually and a frog in a pot of boiling water and the relationship begins as a romantic partnership but this psycho brother was unhinged from day 1 and it was all to better him to be a productive member of society. Only way is that his self esteem is that low but as a man, especially in South Korea, a country steeped in deep patriarchy with misogyny and sexism of 1950s America, he should be more bitter and entitled. It just doesn’t make sense. He isn’t a child or a rag doll, what the hell happened there???
It’s not about being independent. He lacks self love and looks for it outside of himself. He’s skilled in a variety of trades as we learned early on. His trouble stems from his love life, he can’t keep a steady partner and he also ends up with suspicious characters. He’s lonely is what it all boils down to.
It's called being mentally ill. Idk how best to explain it but it's like... you know how to walk in a straight line on a proper floor, right? So in theory, nothing's stopping you from easily doing the same thing on a very, very narrow ledge that's as tall as a building. Because it's the same thing -- just walking in a straight line. You CAN do it, but your mind is stopping you from going.
For people like me, lots of things that look like proper floors to mentally stable people look like tall narrow ledges to us. It's really hard to overcome the mind when it's also the mind you need to overcome it. (I'm doing much better rn btw ahahaha but I was pretty much a NEET for around 3 years).
Holy shit, you did it man, I’m proud of you, genuinely. I have a cousin that seems to be a NEET right now but I know they are trying their best. It takes time. Wish you all the success, have any tips on how I can help them or what I can say?
Ahahaha thanks!
Idk it differs from person to person ahaha. For me it helps to break tasks down as small as possible so it doesn't look daunting. Something as simple as "taking a bath" used to require me to break it down to (1.) set playlist, (2.) get up from bed, (3.) prepare clothes, (4.) take the damn bath. Ik it looks stupid bc those are the stuff you do to take a bath anyway. Physically, nothing changes. But mentally, I was like, "Yeah you don't have take a bath right now but you can at least get up, right?". If I don't break the tasks down, I won't even get out of bed bc my mind is focused on the bath itself TwT Anyway it took time before I was able to apply that method to looking for a job ahaha.
Easiest though is to find a professional medical help that works for your cousin ahaha. And I mean rly look for one that clicks with your cousin. Psychology is approached very differently by different doctors. I didn't seek professional help but my sisters did and they improved way faster than I did, lol. But yeah, different methods work for different people.
Sorry for the wall of text and I wish the best for your cousin!
Idk how close you are to your cousin but I think the best you can do is treat them normally and support them if needed. Sorry for the wall of text but I don't think it's smth you can tell them unless they bring it up first TwT I just got excited on my own and wrote a bunch right away
Thank you for the advice dude! She did go to a therapist for month but that didn’t work out. I’ll ask her and her family to try again with a psychologist and do some research for one that specializes in stuff like this. I’ll talk to her about how she feels and give her your tips on how to handle tasks.
That sounded tough dude, it sounds like depression and anxiety, but I’m glad you were able to get through it. It was definitely no easy task. Great job my dude!!! Well done!!!!
No no, it was all very helpful!!! It is hard to approach her because she doesn’t want to always talk but she does talk to me and when she does I always just treat her normally! I’m one of the few people, maybe because I go over there a lot. Maybe I’ll try broach the subject but I will definitely talk to her parents and my cousin bro about the psychologist
Wah my sisters supported me too and it really helped a lot. Your cousin is very lucky to have you and I wish her the best :)
I’m getting kind of annoyed, Whats stopping him from not being dependent on these brothers???? He has the bartending license, he can move to another town and get a job. He isn’t a 16 year old kid or smth, why does he want to refer to himself as a kitten or a dog or a cat. Bro you’re a 25 year old man. Come on