I came here thinking this would be more cute obviously we're still going to be smutty but it is a shorter story. It's also why I find it strange it's such a letdown, you're not even writing that much material so why is it not that great. For one, why did the author make the Tops personality so victimizing. Why was the top expecting that they would just have sex at the end of the night? I think it's fine too hope for that after a little romantic date but it feels perverse of him to expect that of somebody that he knows doesn't even like him. Then is hurt because he really thought it would lead to something more after the very obvious one night stand. Also why did the author what the top "force" him on the MC? Yes, if the author had drawn it like he had actually was overwhelmed from his first time it would have made sense. However, he looked a very sound mind and just wanted to f***, don't be doing the deed and then feeling bad about it afterwards. I think it would have been much more appealing/sexy/intimate if top had just worked on slowly stretching him out. Why is top acting all sad at the gym forcing kisses on the MC? Like you have the perfect opportunity for a lovey dovey puppy dog like character but they chose to go the route of top who victimizes themselves and acts like what they just deserve to be dating MC. Edit: After reading till ch 17 it's better but only because the author did what I said should have been done in the first place. I will say I did like the dialogue for second smexy scene. The MC is being straightforward and honest with him to not expect anything in that the top should date someone better. I like that the top says if I wanted to date someone better I would have done that honey. This of course also shows a bit more of a cockiness to his personality, I can't remember what the top personality type would be. Cuz it is not necessarily Fox but it also isn't. But I don't know I just don't think they should have been a short story.
I came here thinking this would be more cute obviously we're still going to be smutty but it is a shorter story. It's also why I find it strange it's such a letdown, you're not even writing that much material so why is it not that great. For one, why did the author make the Tops personality so victimizing. Why was the top expecting that they would just have sex at the end of the night? I think it's fine too hope for that after a little romantic date but it feels perverse of him to expect that of somebody that he knows doesn't even like him.
Then is hurt because he really thought it would lead to something more after the very obvious one night stand. Also why did the author what the top "force" him on the MC? Yes, if the author had drawn it like he had actually was overwhelmed from his first time it would have made sense. However, he looked a very sound mind and just wanted to f***, don't be doing the deed and then feeling bad about it afterwards. I think it would have been much more appealing/sexy/intimate if top had just worked on slowly stretching him out. Why is top acting all sad at the gym forcing kisses on the MC? Like you have the perfect opportunity for a lovey dovey puppy dog like character but they chose to go the route of top who victimizes themselves and acts like what they just deserve to be dating MC.
Edit:
After reading till ch 17 it's better but only because the author did what I said should have been done in the first place. I will say I did like the dialogue for second smexy scene. The MC is being straightforward and honest with him to not expect anything in that the top should date someone better. I like that the top says if I wanted to date someone better I would have done that honey. This of course also shows a bit more of a cockiness to his personality, I can't remember what the top personality type would be. Cuz it is not necessarily Fox but it also isn't. But I don't know I just don't think they should have been a short story.