After these latest episodes my perspective on Siwoon has shifted a bit more towards the positive and I'm happy that we have been given a glimpse into Taemin's feelings for Woojin as a child; however, I'm still mourning for poor real Siwon; I guess several of us just can't get over how poor Siwon has been treated as a non-issue in the story when the poor thing was the victim of so much injustice. Maybe those of us that can't get over it should start an association for the rights of Siwon (AFROS), hahahaah! just kidding on the AFROS thing, but I'm serious about my heart bleeding for real Siwon :(
On the other hand, this episode shifted my perspective on Woojin/Siwoon. I was upset for a long time at the fact that Siwoon seemed to have had the resources to find and help Taemin but didn't, and after the latest chapter, I think that he was blocked by several factors, one of which is psychological. Woojin must have been operating from a defeatist mindset after that traumatic episode where he thought Taemin was going to die because of him. It's obvious he was seriously impacted and seemed to have become obsessed with thoughts of worthlessness and not having the resources to protect Taemin; soon after that he disappears. We can speculate that either Woojin precipitated a reunion with his father/grandfather? or that either of them came looking for him right at that moment; whatever the case was, Woojin felt compelled/obsessed to become "someone" and obtain the "means" or resources (wealth, power, etc.) he could use to protect Taemin. It could be he didn't show up before that because he felt he wasn't ready "yet" to offer something substantial to Taemin, and when he was finally ready, it was tragically too late. I have now become more sympathetic towards Siwoon and ship the relationship a bit more. Even though I still can't get over his indifference when watching Siwon's rape video.
Another thing that I really enjoyed about these three last backstory episodes is that we were allowed to look into Taemin's perspective and his feelings for Woojin. Before this, we had a clear understanding of Woojin's feelings for Taemin, hero-worship that turned into obsession and ultimately love; but we had not been given access to Taemin's feelings until now. It's obvious why the children gravitated towards each other as they shared similar abusive backgrounds, even though their personalities were like night and day. But it made me very happy to see Taemin just as obsessed with Woojin as Woojin was obsessed with Taemin. This leads me to believe that Taemin was also in love with Woojin ever since they were kids. I guess we could debate on the substantiality of childhood love, but there's no doubt in my mind Taemin was in love even if he himself didn't realize it then or now, so their feelings were mutual :D...and soon their feelings as young adults promise to be mutual as well. That would also explain why Woojin's disappearance affected Taemin to the point he still resents Woojin and hasn't forgiven him. His reticence in trusting and admitting to Siwoon that he's indeed Taemin is very likely rooted in his resentment for having being "abandoned" by both Woojin and his mom.
I see a lot of my fellow fujoshis/fudanshis harshly criticize/condemn Taemin's mom for abandoning him, and I used to feel the same way. I had no patience or sympathy for mothers that abandon their children because I can't identify with that type of mindset, especially due to possessing an assertive personality, but my perspective was expanded in college through the social sciences. I learned that even though all humans possess the same cognitive framework and many of the cognitive processes, these are ultimately influenced and shaped by our experiences and environment. The cognitive development is different for everyone, with those living in poverty at the losing end. So, the cognitive, emotional, psychological development of those of us that have lived sheltered lives is significantly different from those that have been exposed on a long term basis to poverty and physical and mental abuse. In this case, we cannot judge Taemin's mom based on our own personal sheltered and privileged life experience because our mindset and moral framework could never compare to her's, because we have been socially shaped under asymmetrical circumstances. The truth is that we just don't know how we would react if we had experienced extreme poverty and physical, sexual and mental abuse because our socialization and cognitive processes would have developed differently. I don't agree with what she did, and my heart is broken for poor Taemin, and it conflicts with my opinion that motherly instinct is the strongest human emotion, therefore, how could she have ignored her instincts to protect her son? but in the spirit of fairness I cannot judge her because I have no idea what it feels like to be in her place. The fact she couldn't help touch her son one last time leads me to believe she must have been heart broken, or at the very least, it must have been extremely difficult for her; well, at least that's what I hope for the sake of Taemin. I truly believe his mom loved him. This part is always difficult, my heart can't stand the thought of innocent children being abused. I broke into a thousand pieces during those scenes with Woojin and his mom and Taemin and his dad, I just can't take it!
I know, ultra long post, but this is how much this manhwa affects me, it really makes me ride the feels! (≧∀≦)
After these latest episodes my perspective on Siwoon has shifted a bit more towards the positive and I'm happy that we have been given a glimpse into Taemin's feelings for Woojin as a child; however, I'm still mourning for poor real Siwon; I guess several of us just can't get over how poor Siwon has been treated as a non-issue in the story when the poor thing was the victim of so much injustice. Maybe those of us that can't get over it should start an association for the rights of Siwon (AFROS), hahahaah! just kidding on the AFROS thing, but I'm serious about my heart bleeding for real Siwon :(
On the other hand, this episode shifted my perspective on Woojin/Siwoon. I was upset for a long time at the fact that Siwoon seemed to have had the resources to find and help Taemin but didn't, and after the latest chapter, I think that he was blocked by several factors, one of which is psychological. Woojin must have been operating from a defeatist mindset after that traumatic episode where he thought Taemin was going to die because of him. It's obvious he was seriously impacted and seemed to have become obsessed with thoughts of worthlessness and not having the resources to protect Taemin; soon after that he disappears. We can speculate that either Woojin precipitated a reunion with his father/grandfather? or that either of them came looking for him right at that moment; whatever the case was, Woojin felt compelled/obsessed to become "someone" and obtain the "means" or resources (wealth, power, etc.) he could use to protect Taemin. It could be he didn't show up before that because he felt he wasn't ready "yet" to offer something substantial to Taemin, and when he was finally ready, it was tragically too late. I have now become more sympathetic towards Siwoon and ship the relationship a bit more. Even though I still can't get over his indifference when watching Siwon's rape video.
Another thing that I really enjoyed about these three last backstory episodes is that we were allowed to look into Taemin's perspective and his feelings for Woojin. Before this, we had a clear understanding of Woojin's feelings for Taemin, hero-worship that turned into obsession and ultimately love; but we had not been given access to Taemin's feelings until now. It's obvious why the children gravitated towards each other as they shared similar abusive backgrounds, even though their personalities were like night and day. But it made me very happy to see Taemin just as obsessed with Woojin as Woojin was obsessed with Taemin. This leads me to believe that Taemin was also in love with Woojin ever since they were kids. I guess we could debate on the substantiality of childhood love, but there's no doubt in my mind Taemin was in love even if he himself didn't realize it then or now, so their feelings were mutual :D...and soon their feelings as young adults promise to be mutual as well. That would also explain why Woojin's disappearance affected Taemin to the point he still resents Woojin and hasn't forgiven him. His reticence in trusting and admitting to Siwoon that he's indeed Taemin is very likely rooted in his resentment for having being "abandoned" by both Woojin and his mom.
I see a lot of my fellow fujoshis/fudanshis harshly criticize/condemn Taemin's mom for abandoning him, and I used to feel the same way. I had no patience or sympathy for mothers that abandon their children because I can't identify with that type of mindset, especially due to possessing an assertive personality, but my perspective was expanded in college through the social sciences. I learned that even though all humans possess the same cognitive framework and many of the cognitive processes, these are ultimately influenced and shaped by our experiences and environment. The cognitive development is different for everyone, with those living in poverty at the losing end. So, the cognitive, emotional, psychological development of those of us that have lived sheltered lives is significantly different from those that have been exposed on a long term basis to poverty and physical and mental abuse. In this case, we cannot judge Taemin's mom based on our own personal sheltered and privileged life experience because our mindset and moral framework could never compare to her's, because we have been socially shaped under asymmetrical circumstances. The truth is that we just don't know how we would react if we had experienced extreme poverty and physical, sexual and mental abuse because our socialization and cognitive processes would have developed differently. I don't agree with what she did, and my heart is broken for poor Taemin, and it conflicts with my opinion that motherly instinct is the strongest human emotion, therefore, how could she have ignored her instincts to protect her son? but in the spirit of fairness I cannot judge her because I have no idea what it feels like to be in her place. The fact she couldn't help touch her son one last time leads me to believe she must have been heart broken, or at the very least, it must have been extremely difficult for her; well, at least that's what I hope for the sake of Taemin. I truly believe his mom loved him. This part is always difficult, my heart can't stand the thought of innocent children being abused. I broke into a thousand pieces during those scenes with Woojin and his mom and Taemin and his dad, I just can't take it!
I know, ultra long post, but this is how much this manhwa affects me, it really makes me ride the feels! (≧∀≦)