Rant Time (Might Delete)

seagull May 27, 2024 11:52 pm

(Might Delete) Pushing your personal trauma onto your child and using them as venting outlets go brrr. I’m sure the mom had a hard life and Eunyung was a little shit but that’s not any excuse to raise him the way they did. The dad actively abused him and both neglected him. He was acting out as a response to their poor parenting and to solve his acting out they abused him more as punishment. Your kid is not responsible for your emotional regulation, yes he is older but he is still a teenager and his mom is a grown woman who shouldn’t be guilting her son into living with his physically abusive dad. Eunyung wanted to feel loved by his parents which is what kids are wired to want psychologically, child psych go brrr, and he didn’t feel it. I’ve seen friends with parents that weren’t the best and did bad things, but they still received love from them (not in the narcasstic or love bombing way I mean like normal parental love). Eunyung is not written like someone with bad parents, he is written like someone with abusive parents. Almost nobody wants to believe they are the bad guy they will justify it to themselves a 100 times over and it’s not a personality disorder or anything it’s just how people are. His parents know they did things bad but they can’t accept that they messed their kid up that bad because that would make them abusers and it’s impossible to admit without a lot of introspection. Eunyung is putting physical and emotional distance between his parents and himself so he can just not think about how awful his situation is. He is kinda a bad person, but we can see why he is a bad person but also we see him becoming a better person! I love it so much because it’s a real character flaw and effective backstory that has impact on the world he’s in.

It’s extremely interesting to see this much nuance in writing I’m in awe amazing. Eunyung and his parents feel so real it’s nauseating.

Responses
    Moon May 28, 2024 4:29 am

    In an instance, there is this expectation within the normality for Eunyung to forgive his parents or for him to make up with them and move on, it gets sensitive or out of the normality for something like this to be displayed because it's almost viewed as if it's something that shouldn't happen with a family. If that makes sense? I think the tension really.

    I'll put this in three parts:

    For his parents, I don't really believe they have really "changed", even if his mother is saying it. They don't have any genuine remorse for their actions and want to smooth things over with him. And Eunyung is trying to test those limits by what he's doing, he isn't being sensitive to her feelings and emotions because she/they weren't sensitive or caring for his. The mother has went what she went through, and that is completely understandable, but that's the root of her problem. She hasn't confronted her trauma and she was wrapped up in parenthood she wasn't prepared for, a decision that is made to a degree. And she wasn't able to resolve her trauma because her father died so she remains in this state of anger, sorrow, and regret she truly doesn't understand how to be genuine with.

    Eunyung is hurting. He has always been hurting since he was young, and his actions are a result of their abusive and terrible parenting. Because he has so much potential but his dysfunctional family doesn't support him or really care for him. And I can tell, despite his harsh words, all his actions stem from pain and trauma he has endured with his parents. It's almost surreal to understand where he's coming from because it's not easy to forgive and forget if you really think about it. No path is easy because it's not done at it's 100%.


    Generational trauma is major in his story, and he wants to break free from that. I do think he yearned for his parents to love and care for him genuinely, and wishes to have a better relationship. But they have to be putting in the effort, they do not show genuine remorse, especially his father. It's like a mindset that has to be broken, a barrier in order to heal and move on. But they aren't prepared for that, they are not prepared to take to consequences for their actions or acknowledge their actions at the highest degree.

    I probably didn't make too much sense.

    seagull May 28, 2024 9:22 pm
    In an instance, there is this expectation within the normality for Eunyung to forgive his parents or for him to make up with them and move on, it gets sensitive or out of the normality for something like this t... Moon

    I get what you mean, definitely it is expected by most people that he should just forgive his parents because those are his parents. Meanwhile his closest friends are shocked he is continuing to talk to them and are worried for him. his parents definitely haven’t changed in significant ways and haven’t done much other than his dad GasP doesn’t hit his son once.