CH 18. Shizuma told Minato what he talked with his boss about. He told him what boss said, word for word. Minato was pissed about what the boss said lol: the part where the boss suggested breaking up.
But at least Minato and Shizuma seemed to have fun talking and it felt so nice to see them communicate. Shizuma isn’t a bad person, don’t think he’s hurting Minato please. Just like how Minato isn’t intentionally hurting Shizuma, Shizuma isn’t either.
He also told Minato: I’m willing to change jobs although it won’t be easy. And I quote, “There are a lot of places I can work at. But there’s only one you.” He is so patient and great at reassuring his partner, and trying to compromise. And Minato told him not to quit.
Please don’t think Minato is jealous out of nowhere. He’s admitted that he’s childish and he doesn’t want to hurt Shizuma, he said it during their communication after Minato put Shizuma on the bed out of anger.
This isn’t mine but someone stated it and I couldn’t agree more, this explains Minato’s reactions. He isn’t like this because he wants to be. His jealousy isn’t out of nowhere. Not justifying his lack of communication but Minato is redeemable and isn’t wholly a bad person or partner. And Shizuma is not even toxic, he’s the green peas:
From the Therapy Game (prequel), it was revealed that Minato's great fear is eventually becoming his mom, with her words ringing ominously in his ear when he's anxious: "You're becoming more and more like me" or "You look so much like me". Imagine what it does to a child hearing those words over and over while watching his parents' marriage crumble along with his mother's mental state. Unconsciously, maybe those words took a hold of him.
His mother was neglected and eventually left by her husband, the man who was supposed to love her, it might have instilled in Minato's subconcious that real unconditional love doesn't exist, and as his mother's reflection, he too is unworthy or undeserving of love, because everything that went wrong inside her can possibly be mirrored inside him.
As an adult, Minato thankfully has more self-awareness than his self-absorbed mother did, and he does his best to communicate when he needs time alone (he also noticed what Shizuma doesn’t want to hear, the ‘I’m so tired’ part and said he won’t say that again if it hurts him), knowing that Shizuma is not doing anything wrong and this is something he needs to solve internally.
Just my analysis, but his fear deep down is about not being good enough, not deserving of that love, and that's why his anxiety over being left by Shizuma can get very loud, and it manifests in this ugly insidious jealousy. He always looks uneasy, and despite believing in Shizuma's love, he doesn't believe in himself being worthy of having someone stay by his side unconditionally. Massive fears and self-doubt can manifest in the most self-destructive of ways that can sink you and destroy your closest relationships.
I think that's what Minato is grappling with every time he sees Shizuma smiling at other people— Shizuma is a ray of sunshine who deserves someone who won't trample that light for selfish reasons, and Minato thinks someone like himself who thinks this way isn't worthy of him, ergo this leads him to fear that Shizuma can be taken away by someone else. JEALOUSY IS USUALLY A REFLECTION OF WHAT WE LACK.
CH 18. Shizuma told Minato what he talked with his boss about. He told him what boss said, word for word. Minato was pissed about what the boss said lol: the part where the boss suggested breaking up.
But at least Minato and Shizuma seemed to have fun talking and it felt so nice to see them communicate. Shizuma isn’t a bad person, don’t think he’s hurting Minato please. Just like how Minato isn’t intentionally hurting Shizuma, Shizuma isn’t either.
He also told Minato: I’m willing to change jobs although it won’t be easy. And I quote, “There are a lot of places I can work at. But there’s only one you.” He is so patient and great at reassuring his partner, and trying to compromise. And Minato told him not to quit.
Please don’t think Minato is jealous out of nowhere. He’s admitted that he’s childish and he doesn’t want to hurt Shizuma, he said it during their communication after Minato put Shizuma on the bed out of anger.
This isn’t mine but someone stated it and I couldn’t agree more, this explains Minato’s reactions. He isn’t like this because he wants to be. His jealousy isn’t out of nowhere. Not justifying his lack of communication but Minato is redeemable and isn’t wholly a bad person or partner. And Shizuma is not even toxic, he’s the green peas:
From the Therapy Game (prequel), it was revealed that Minato's great fear is eventually becoming his mom, with her words ringing ominously in his ear when he's anxious: "You're becoming more and more like me" or "You look so much like me". Imagine what it does to a child hearing those words over and over while watching his parents' marriage crumble along with his mother's mental state. Unconsciously, maybe those words took a hold of him.
His mother was neglected and eventually left by her husband, the man who was supposed to love her, it might have instilled in Minato's subconcious that real unconditional love doesn't exist, and as his mother's reflection, he too is unworthy or undeserving of love, because everything that went wrong inside her can possibly be mirrored inside him.
As an adult, Minato thankfully has more self-awareness than his self-absorbed mother did, and he does his best to communicate when he needs time alone (he also noticed what Shizuma doesn’t want to hear, the ‘I’m so tired’ part and said he won’t say that again if it hurts him), knowing that Shizuma is not doing anything wrong and this is something he needs to solve internally.
Just my analysis, but his fear deep down is about not being good enough, not deserving of that love, and that's why his anxiety over being left by Shizuma can get very loud, and it manifests in this ugly insidious jealousy. He always looks uneasy, and despite believing in Shizuma's love, he doesn't believe in himself being worthy of having someone stay by his side unconditionally. Massive fears and self-doubt can manifest in the most self-destructive of ways that can sink you and destroy your closest relationships.
I think that's what Minato is grappling with every time he sees Shizuma smiling at other people— Shizuma is a ray of sunshine who deserves someone who won't trample that light for selfish reasons, and Minato thinks someone like himself who thinks this way isn't worthy of him, ergo this leads him to fear that Shizuma can be taken away by someone else. JEALOUSY IS USUALLY A REFLECTION OF WHAT WE LACK.