Spoiler and rant

I suggest you read the novel in moonlightnovel. ch 32 webtoon = ch 31 novel. It's translated until ch 137 and still ongoing to be translated. The novel has already ended. From what I read in spoiler forums, its the reconciliation arc(?) that's still missing so not sure.

So, since I can't wait for the chapters I read the novel in 1 sitting. But this is entirely a different kind of novel. The POVs changes from the ML and FL. And the author was really great in expressing what each of them really felt. And since you can read both POVs, it's hard to not be bias or be sympathetic. It's like you know what's happening and you just can't stop the frustrations you're feeling since the ML is this, while the FL is that.

I will say major spoilers until later half of the story. So warning.

So, during the time when amnesia arc, it was due to black magic. And this black magic prevents him to piece together Yve and Yvonne as one. He will have a very bad headache whenever he just thinks of his past. Like really bad, deathly bad. Now, it shouldn't happen since he have purification powers, but as it turns out there are 2 powers inside the ML. The light and dark (black magic) powers. As to why he have 2, i dunno (maybe it was in the not translated part/or loophole).

So, ML can't forgive himself to feel something to this Yve when he have Yvonne. And everytime he compares the 2, he will have that headache which added to the annoyance of the ML. Also, since the black magic was performed under the spell of the B*tch(she used her blood and mana), it allowed her words to "sound" believable to the ML. Like, framing Yve using black magic, or that Yve is a spy/lover from Benjamin, etc. And since we know about the contract bet themL, they've never gotten intimate. No kissing, no love making, not even his skin(using gloves) touched her when escorting that B*. But these things/act, aren't easily discovered so Yve thought it was true. Then B* decided to act preggy since as per contract, she will find traces of Yvonne in Ferdinand. And there is this Divine tree in Ferdinand where preggy Ferdinand relatives go to ask for blessings. This is to find Yvonne's trail.

Then FL found out she's preggy, she confronted ML to decide what to do... And these is after ch 32, ML wanted FL to escort the B* during their engagement ceremony 4 days later cause B* is pregnant! The shock made her decided to fake her death with the help from Benjamin. Still, during these times, ML kept denying his attraction/interest with FL. He kept saying dirty, cheap all sorts of trash words you can never say to the person you love. Cause he kept seeing FL with Benjamin, thinking they're dating/together as manipulated by the B*.

Then on the night before engagement, FL tried to confront ML again. She decided to escort ML on the night before the engagement to say her "goodbyes".

****
As he was sleeping, he no longer stared at me or got angry. He also didn't look at me with loving eyes, nor did he whisper with his sweet voice.
Suddenly, my heart ached as I started to cry....
"Why are you crying?"
"It's nothing"
"Are you not feeling well yet?"
"No, I'm fine now." I was happy with his worries. Then, his expression seemed to be strangely distorted, and venomous words came out.
"If you want to cry, go out and cry, Because I don't want to hear it."
.....
"I don't want to be Your Majesty's mistress."
"Who, you?" He laughed at me.
"Miss Katarina has your child. Don't you love her?"
"I do."
"So what about me?"
"You are nothin to me."
"Why are you doing this with a woman who is nothing?."
"Whatever"
"What if I have your majesty's child?"
"It's not going to happen."
"You don't know that. It can be possible."
"If that really happens, I will rip the seed that I sowed with my own hands."
****
Next day, assassins suddenly crashed the engagement ceremony at the start. Chaos ensued, then as the target was the B*, she got protected by Yve and was the one who got slashed on her behalf.
ML was still in his room still preparing, but his mind kept on thinking about Yve, her appearance, her tenacity, her everything. It seems like he can't deny it anymore and would like to accept his delusions that Yve still like him based on what happened the night before(The conversation was long, so I didn't put it). So as the generous emperor, he will accept the FL (what he said) But then, he got the news.
As he strode down the place, he went straight to Yve (shove past B*) seeing her in a pool of blood with a long deep gash line on her torso(I imagined). He hugged her cold, bloody body, walked to his room and placed her on his bed. He decided to heal her with his powers. But her wound didn't close.. As he try and try to use his healing powers, her body started to rot. So he decided to freeze her body, and cries in despair as he hugged her.
ML decided to get all the things/furnishings in her room and moved it to his. All this happening, while "interacting/talking" to a dead Yve on his bed.
****
Yve placed a cursing letter to ML in one of her drawers and ML read that.
"So cute and lovely." He looked back at Yve, who was lying on the hard bed and smiled. But Yve did not respond, she just closed her eyes with a cold face.
"Why do you look like that?" he asked.
"Are you still mad at me?" Of course, there was no reply from the dead woman.
He got up, opened the drawer and took out the hairpin which he had taken from her.
"Release your anger, Yve. I'll give it back to you."
"I think I know why I gave this to you," he knelt on one knee by the bed and stroked Yve's hair gently.
"Before I lost my memory, I liked you, right?"
......
"Yes, we like each other. Even Benjamin would not dare to intervene. But, why are you...ah" suddenly he realized that he had not given her a chance to speak.
"Why did I... What you were trying to convey... I should have read it... I should have listened to what you had to say..." he muttered sadly and ruffled her hair, but the shortened hair didn't come together. It was this hand that brutally cut off the long, shiny hair....
***

ML is a trash. Like literal, bad, sociopath trash. However, does anyone want the love of their life show how trash themselves? Ofc not. you want to show only the good things. ML and FL hit it off, right from the start. As if they are meant to be. Now, during the amnesia arc, FL found out his other personality(the trashy one) She figured all the rumors were true. She only really discusses this at the later part of the novel, that when she was Yve, his interaction with her is different compared to Yvonne. Like why? He promised to remember her no matter what, but then he did this. However, despite his amnesia and separating Yve and Yvone from his mind, he still fell in love with Yve. This shows that from the start he only loves one person. He just cannot accept the fact, that Yve looks like the person he's searching for over 10 yrs (Yvone). He cannot feel his "energy/scent" from Yve when she should be lathered with it. This confuses ML, as well all her wounds where gone. If they only talked, if only he listened, they will understand each other. But no, here comes Benjamin and B*, coming to the rescue of the ML. Like I said, they manipulated ML and FL as well. Cause Benjamin lathers his "energy/scent" to Yve, making it looks like they did the deed.. or lovers. Which strengthened the claims of B*.

And Benjamin is a psychopath, judging from the early chapters, and what he kept doing to the FL.
Well, that's alot to share. Also, I cried so much during regret arc of ML. Emotional trauma dumping by author is too much. It hurts so bad that made me finish translated novel to ease the pain.
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