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exactlyyy and even without considering her 'happiness' or quest for true 'love', it also makes sense why she doesn't want to rely on callisto's proposal, the same way she only relied on eckles bc of their twisted relationship of needing each other beneficially. she's never been loved before and it's even more dangerous to rely on someone's proposal due to their arbitrary feelings that could easily betray her, like how eckles betrayed penelope.
god i BAWLED when i read this in the novel
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YUP YUP and her attachment style makes sense. she has the most realistic reaction to familial trauma too but i hate how once we finally get a fl who REACTS to abuse, she’s painted as only a selfish bad guy and not someone desperate to escape round two of societal isolation + being the family black sheep/punching bag??
all her relationships so far are always at her expense, and my girl is fucking tired!! and me too, the novel had me hooked and sobbing. it’s sooo much better compared to the webtoon imo it truly captured how dark this story was
she’s so understandable in the sense there’s no room for her freedom and happiness in a future she’s confined in. i don’t blame her for wanting no ties to any royalty or a noble family even if she gets to be alive because she’s lived two lifetimes of that and worse, and never got the chance to be selfish or live for herself even when she was so close to it