I just saw the RAWS for chaps 18-19..... spoilers: and I am devastated at th...

this is way more realistic plot then him overcoming his psychological problems and successfully running away from sangwoo

after his first atempt so escape sangwoo showed him some kindness and bum was lost. in would be different with mentally stable person.

Actually, even a mentally stable person would be susceptible to crack under such terrible mindbreaking circumstances. I'm not arguing that it's not realistic; My personal expectation was for Bum to overcome the horrific circumstances, to be able to beat the odds by using strength he himself didn't know he had, and to overcome. He showed promise of this right before the concert, where he finally broke down. It would have been far more interesting if Bum had been able to "appear" complacent to fool Sangwoo, until the moment he could strike (in whatever manner) and finally free himself from the horror. Now this went from a suspenseful thriller to a typical horror story. I understand that it's a matter of personal perspective.

i just read chapter 18 and 19 and man this shit gets even more interesting

Totally agree with you!! The 19th chapter is utterly disappointing, therefore I stop here with this manhwa. It became way too disgusting for me...

Spoilerish



I thought it was possible Bum would resist at the point where he was on the floor, with the knife, still hesitating, and then she said things that triggered him. Once he lost it, then he was acting out his own repressed aggression on her (though Sangwoo did plan and direct the whole thing). See, the turning point for me was when he was there, with the knife. In theory, he could have hesitated and been forced, or even turned the knife on Sangwoo and been punished when he failed, but once she reminded him of the past, he lost whatever last bit of morality/reality he had held onto. But I do wonder at the end, because he says he still doesn't feel normal (or something like that).

Spoiler:









Anoni, I was reading and kind of figuring out what was happening, but I was kind of in denial, or better said, hopeful that he would resist :/
I mean, this was completely different than that time with the old man where he was conspicuously physically forced by Sangwoo; however, this one is on him.

Now, let me ask you this... The way I interpreted that scene is kind of as if Bum "forced" himself at some level to project that past experience with that girl, in order to be able to "do it", you know, kind of like pumping himself at some conscious level to actually do it because without that "prompting" or trigger, he wouldn't have been able to. Or do you think that he was just overtaken by the memories and anger? I really do think he kind of forced himself into that mental state of mind...I mean, his entire reaction felt forced, as if he "wanted" to do it which could be as a result of his jealousy of the girl (especially after that whole sex scene), because she was mean to him before or simply because he wanted to assert or solidify his relationship with Sangwoo or a combination of all three things.

I totally understand you. I'm with one foot in and the other out :/

Spoiler




I think you are probably right that there is a combination going on. I read it the second way--that he was releasing feelings he had pent up (maybe his whole life) and that had focused on that first girl for so long. I think Bum is responsible for his choices, and that he had crawled towards her wondering if he could kill her, but that yes, he kind of lost it when she said words that were similar to that bad memory.

I don't mean to excuse Bum, I simply think that's where his head went. But the Jaynia translation has a different (probably better) ending than the one I first read--Bum is upset because he is *not* feeling guilty. So, that reinforces that change in Bum--you know? He looks at the blood and says she was alive and now she's dead, and he did it--but he does not care. This is different than the "I don't feel normal" version I read, but it makes more sense. Sadly, I think your Bonnie and Clyde vision is what's going on. Bum isn't just doing it for Sanwoo (though he probably would never have done it without Sangwoo). I think he's stopped thinking of her as a person, and so killing her to release all his pain isn't bothering him. Once you dehumanize others and start using them like things, it's all downhill.

whoa, the difference of those two idiomatic expressions "I don't fee normal" to "I don't feel anything" does change the context in Bum's state of mind, dramatically! There's no doubt linguistic nuances make all the difference. My heart is still heavy with disappointment but I'll continue on to see where is headed :)