I think maybe because this is the first time he did it with someone who he (and the other person) had feelings. "This" was something he had never experienced before, just like when he got raped as a child was something new. Afterwards, using pain was his "gateaway" but Doumeki used love and gentleness, feelings that rattled him and brought back memories... He couldnt lose himself to the "pain" I guess, so he remembered that night... I hope I make sense
i agree. he was always playing down his experience in his childhood (remember how he talked about it when the compared his experience to the one of dome's sister? - like how he loved sex after that whole thing...) kind of a coping mechanism to make himself believe that he likes the rape and it s no big deal. the experience with doumeki is making him realize something and he might have not yet come to terms with his childhood...
well, i am no psychologist, but anyways, my take on this
It just came to him...
I'm no psychologist either, but I agree. I just wrote about this up top, but I think there's a little symbolic moment in that scene where Yashiro remembers seeing the light coming through the gap in the panels during his rape and then in the present, he turns his head and sees light coming through the gap of the curtains. I think that symbolizes the dawn breaking for him, and then it's reinforced by the slight return of feeling in his hand. He has to feel the bad things he's been covering over in order to get past them. It's genius writing, I think.
@ eworth : I agree (lol) with everything you said. I also believe it is genius writing because she took on a trope that has been used in yaoi and has become so ridiculous I am immune to it. But sensei brought back all the reality of such an experience and we, along with Yashiro , are seeing that dawn you said.
@mia: yep exactly
what really worries me is the conclusion that he is drawing out of this... i just want a happy ending for him (with as little drama in the coming chapters as possible...!) please don't run away from doumeki now >.<
and yeah, yoneda you really has a knack for getting the message across without using words. love her so much <3
Why did Yashiro remember his past while Doumeki climaxed?