You described this very well, I also am an emotional person that cries a lot, I hated it when I was younger but I learned to embrace it and now I love this part of me. I love feeling strong emotions and the emotions that brings this particular manga are the ones I prefer, sadness but hope / comfortable melancholy / resilience. Resilience is so fascinating to me, you would have all the right to scream, cry and shout your despair but you don’t and decide to create hope instead. It’s a positive word but I can’t help feeling so sad about it, I think that’s what makes me cry even more.
About being alone, even as an introvert I understand this feeling of not wanting to be alone, i like being by myself but with people around me. I can’t live alone or I would literally lose myself.
Anyway I know how strange it can feel to be brought into an emotion that you are no longer in (or am I the only one like this) so don’t feel pressured to respond, what you said resonated a bit with me so it’s my way to acknowledge your feelings I guess.
hey. i have come to detest people. i occasionally have nightmares of waking up to a life trapped in the suffocating embrace of a family i didn't want. i have struggled in dealing with my disappointment in people and my fwar of them. but i too am afraid of being lonely. ironic, isn't it? however, i did find you. therefore in this life being lonely may just be a fleeting feeling of despair. something that may eventually leave you once you are fulfilled.
I am an emotional person. I cry a lot. And I like that - I like crying, I find comfort in sadness.
Today I woke up earlier than ever (although it's Saturday). My best friend had texted me that he was gonna start reading a manga. He said that he's scared that it's gonna be too sad. I supported him, said he should read it. After a while he texted me that he's crying. That caught my attention - I wanted to know the name. When I hear crying, sobbing, tears - it just makes me feel butterflies. He told me the name and it was 8am when I started reading it. I thought it's only 8 chapters - how sad could it be? I thought it's going to be a short read with a few tears maybe. It was 11am when I finished. I had been crying for the last two hours by now. My pillow and shirt were uncomfortably wet, my eyes puffy and my nose was running. I couldn't stop crying - something about this 8 chapter manga about a depressed guy and an angel had made me cry more than ever. And it wasn't even my tears that had my world stopped, I was my heart that was so heavy. I have read many sad and terrifying things until now, but this? I honestly do not know what it is about this story but it just makes my heart hurt. It might be that I'm scared. I'm too scared to be alone - just like this man - I don't wanna be alone. Ever. I am an extrovert who gets her energy out of other humans. I NEED other humans to SURVIVE. I'm terrified of being alone. Maybe it was that, that made me feel this way. But I'm not quite sure.