OMFG i can relate to the sister

Ah yes fuck us for hating on someone who outed their brother, potentially putting him in danger.

i mean yeah his sister majorly fucked up but i feel like this was a very accurate and nuanced take on how frustrating it is to be the eldest child with siblings who stress tf out of the mom they love. Hana lashes out because she's made all these personal sacrifices to be a good child (studious, behaving well, putting her own relationships on the back burner) and while it's not Jun's fault or even a bad thing that he's gay, it definitely makes his mom's life harder in tangible ways. The mom is stressed out about it for good reason (it's natural to want your child to avoid hardship in their life and being gay in a homophobic society is definitely hardship) and while the novel didn't explicitly mention it, imagine what hell grandma would put mom through when she finds out. Even without the whole gay thing Hana feels like Jun is constantly soaking up her mother's care and attention just because "she doesn't need it as much as he does". Being emotionally triaged by your parents is something that can build up A LOT of unfair resentment, especially when your sibling seems outwardly frivolous and unconcerned over how their actions affect your parents.

I'm not defending Hana's actions, just saying that people who think Hana did that because she's a bad person or something like that are missing some pretty important emotional context.


Source: am eldest sibling with two younger siblings that have basically turned my mother into a full time psych nurse

“Her actions were reasonable” they were not. Idc how much someone is hurting there is no reason to be a shitty person. Yeah sure, she was going through a lot. I get that. That’s a motive behind her actions. But doesn’t excuse nor justify what she did. There’s being angry and you know, blowing up. And there’s outing someone in a potentially dangerous situation, being the reason someone runs away because you yell homophobic remarks at them. And when ur sibling comes out to you during their formative years, in a very sensitive time and again saying homophobic remarks to hurt them. Nothing she did will ever be okay just bc she was hurting. Hurting doesn’t excuse or justify hate criming your sibling just bc ur mom focuses on them more. She got MORE upset with Jun bc her mom didn’t go down the disowning and hating him route, but instead tried to understand him. So she took out that anger on him by hurling more homophobic remarks and attempting to OUT him AGAIN to their dad. That’s not right. Idc what her motives were, that made her a bad person and people are allowed to be angry and hate her character for being shitty.

Also quoting of person with my first sentence. First person was trying to say she was right in what she did. She wasn’t. That’s what I was talking ab. I rlly don’t care ab the motives behind her actions either. Hate criming someone, putting them in dangerous situations, hurting them by saying homophobic remarks to them. Those actions can never be justified to me.

Hana absolutely triggered me. If your sibling willingly comes out to you,

I massively dislike hana (hate is a strong word). It's both personal and general. Hana's reason absolutely does not justify her behavior toward her brother. Im not saying she's the incarnation of the devil and wishing death upon her. But it's ironic how you can reason hana's actions but cannot to the people who hate her. Outing someone, especially a sibling who willingly confided in you is a pathetic move. How is she any better than the parents who caused her troubles?