HELP pleaseee

I need help finding a mangaaaa
its a bl and about a uke who lives in regret because he rejected seme in a very rude way and to ease the guilt he gets guys to sleep with him and be rough with him. I think uke has black hair and is a regular office worker and seme is dirty blondish and works at a bookstore. Also they made up when the uke was like puking in the toilet or something and crying and he called the seme

if someone knows the manga pls tell meeee thank uuuu