you said it very accurately! I was thinking that as I was translating too (trying to translate the sfx accompanying his expression got me thinking if he's repulsed because
-slight spoiler but someone else already spoiler everything anyway T^T )
a. he feels dirty
b. because he's attracted to him
But i can tell you you are quite accurate with your observation because you will see (kind of why) in next chapter :3
Yes, yes. I'm always an advocate for the "two sides perspective" but little bro just blew it. People side with him because he's sooo sad his big bro was ignoring him but I don't think they fully understand he must be pretty freakin' traumatized and dealing with some heavy shit. Abandonment, prostitution and raising a child at 15 or 16? Well excuse me for not reading you some bedtime stories dear brother, I'm too busy crying in the shower after having rape nightmares. It's too cheap to feel sorry for blondie, his observation skills SUCK. He should have noticed something was WRONG and not just assume big bro was simply being a jerk.
sorry it will be a long replay :D
but, first... thanks for the translation :3 wohooo.. next chaper.. more info (yes confirmed)
yeah, as a big brother, a role model for his precious brother, earning money from prostitution result many no no feeling (like: no! i don't want to dirty him, if he knows he will hate me or he will be disgusted by me or he will pity me or he will try to earn some money too).
but, he did it anyway cause house, food, school fees.
The big bro wants his precious lil bro to have a better education (it shws in this chapter), he answer whatever you want to his brother because he wants his brother free to choose his education. he didn't want his brother works, afraid it will be an obstacle for his education. and as long as he can earn money by work alone (without lil bro) then why not.<- this is (maybe) one of big bro reason for not telling their 'economy' to lil bro.
sell his body for a long time may cause the worry about being hated become numb, and he will choose: better he hates me because i ignore him than he hates me because i sell my self.
moreover if the big bro become attracted to lil bro, it give much reason to avoid lil bro (maybe this feeling will dissapear, etc).
that's right, the reasons will give much impact to big bro and of course will effect his actions. I think big bro choose to ignore his lil bro because the action will give more benefits, to whom? to both. ignore lil bro = not close but bearable -> it wouldn't dirty or kill hir brother pureness -> lil bro will not find his job -> lil bro have no worry about their 'economy' -> lil bro not having work -> more times for lil bro to study or play
huum, i assume the lil bro notice and make many reasons about big bro avoidance, like: brother avoidance caused by him as a burden, and his big bro as prostitute is the last reason? when he said you grossed me out -> it leaves me with impression 'he wants to make his big bro feels really really really guilty'
when people feels guilty the 'guilt eats' their mind and become priority 'to think?', its one of strategy or automatically response or revenge? of lil bro to make his brother to 'give in, surrender, not avoid him again -> the action remind me to some child prank their crush because they want attention. hmmm.. not mature enough to think of reason and the effect...
I translated it as grossed out because i felt that has the best impact or maybe i should have went with revolting... but yes, i don't really want to spoil it all but he did explain why in lter chapters, maybe chapter 4? Why he started to avoid his brother and repulsed by his touching him. But one key point of him feeling like he's tainted is absolutely correct. But the brother is absolutely not scoring any brownie points as far as i am concerned...
The next chapter might be a wait compared to how fast i did world's end no niwa because i just promised another translator to translate uehara ari's story. So i will get that done first, then do a chapter of kokuhaku biyori before going back to this. So, i apologize for the wait first... might be a week or so for next but i have already cleaned the pages.
In the first chapter, when the mom was saying stuff like didn't you say you take care of him and in japanese he answered it very succintly. And the mother is obviously the type that's only care about herself and i think in that aspect, hayato really takes after her. Even if this series counted as a "happy ending"... well, you'll see (i am sorry if this is annoying) but to me i don't feel that hayato deserved it and i kind of feel that yuki was more like in the end having stockholm syndrome...
you're right, i think grossed out has better impact.
aah~ glad to know they will have better communication (?) in next chapter.
right i think 'tainted' really play 'big role' in big bro's mindset.
no problem, take your time ;D
uh-hu *nods* thats can be one of reason too...
eeeh no it's not annoying ;D
i think it will be hard for yuki to resent his lil bro, his affection towards his only family, together for a long time more over the guilt because his avoidance, and i am sure his lil bro is the most precious person, treasure, and most beloved person in his live, and what can we say that love is blind, humans brain and their way to interpret things different from one person to another really complicated and unique plus their heart will affect their pov and action.
sometimes when someone feels their impure/dirty body touched by their (pure) precious one, the repulsed feeling the nausea feeling will come through like big waves-> the result is rejection towards the precious (it shws in this chapter like avoidance, to aggresive act like punching) the feels don't want to dirty your pure mind and body because you touch my dirty body... i feel your feels big bro -.-