Responses
Yeah it's stated several times he never felt this way. In one of the side stories(chapter 84) he admits that he's terrified because nothing holds him to Taeui. He still doesn't know it's love but he does know that he doesn't want him to leave him and wants to tie himself to him.
I think ilay truly loves tay but he doesn't understand what he feels towards tay so he's expressing it the way he thinks/feels the right way to express it?