Although I do agree to bits and parts of this argument but most of it overshadows woojin mistake. He's mentally unstable and fs he's aware of that fact,but the reason being him cheating wasn't only because of minho's influence but also his own greed to have things over. He has lived a constrained life but with things at his disposal,taehwan to him doesn't stand out as a potential relieving figure and he has twice much faith in minho. The first time minho wasn't only because of the confluence but his own share of baggage and neediness that he carries. Drug and toxic co-dependency are two different things, don't mix up those. Drug ruins the individual consuming it but co-dependency ruins everyone around. And nobody in their sane would agree to someone's statement of calling out their loved ones, especially when they are diabetic sweet. I'm not saying it was woojin's fault but he also did nothing to break out of cycle even after getting out of his abusive relationship. Although i 100% that he needs therapy and not a romantic relationship. Taehwan the only best boy.
THANK YOU!!! The lack of grace he gets drives me up the wall. This is one of the more realistic portrayals of abuse I’ve seen in a BL, and people are non stop shitting on Woojin (even saying he should kill himself???) because he’s not a perfect victim/MC. He wasn’t mentally stable to begin with and had attachment problems since childhood, he was very susceptible to someone like Minho—who is, on the surface, charismatic, rich, and stable—coming in and taking advantage of him. And people are shocked that’s not gonna get resolved neatly??
True,I also think minho must've had some issues with woojin,as much I'd like to believe that absolute shit somehow his actions say otherwise unlike the ones who are there for the name.I guess both of them have attachment issues
Σ(っ°Д °;)っ woojin is so self-destructive at this point, it breaks my heart
God, I loved reading every single word you just wrote.
You summed it up perfectly. I'd love to hear your thoughts in other manhwas as well.
I mean sure I do see where you come from, I agree that the current situation is a consequence of WooJin's actions, even if not only his. the thing is, I don't think that should be equal to him being at fault, or having blame, because those are intrinsically negative and they influence the way we think about him, and imo he doesn't deserve it. yes, his actions have consequences, but I think that and him being at fault are two different matters entirely.
and yeah, as you say, he has more faith in Minho but isn't that understandable? even unavoidable? of course he has, Minho has been the only person he has had contact with, positive or negative, for years.
you're also right that the first time he went back to Minho was because, among other things, of his baggage and neediness, but I mean I think he kinda deserves to be needy, with whoever he wants, and that it's obvious that he would have baggage and trauma and that it would affect his choices. and that brings us back to the fact that the present is a consequence to his actions, yes, but not his fault, because "fault" implies the choice was made with a degree of purpose, aim, or intention that WooJin simply isn't capable of, because he is fundamentally imcapable of being his own person and making his own choices.
and again, you're right, co-dependency and drug addiction are not the same thing and it wasn't my intention to say that, i only used it as an example because I think that they have a lot of similarities in the ways they both leave you unsettled and unstable once you've had them taken away, they take away your capability of making rational decisions and of understanding what's best for you, and you desperately want to go back to them once you're out, and since everybody knows and takes drug addiction seriously, I thought it would've been an easy comparison to understand.
and lastly, I get why you say that WooJin did nothing wrong to break out of the cycle, but I don't think its true. I mean, in the first place he's the one who tried to move on from Minho (though forced by being abandoned first, I'll admit), and tried to have a healthy relationship, even if I think he went about it wrong and therapy should be the only thing on his mind, imo he really did do what he thought was best for him to break free of minho
thank u!!!! I have MANY thoughts about everything, I even tried to keep that comment short but I guess I wasn't very successful ahahahahah
right?? I was so surprised when the author started depicting the effects of abuse so realistically, since the victims are usually made to fall in love or forget, and at first the comments were supportive of WooJin's struggles, but then when it went on for longer than socially acceptable they started blaming him. like I'm sorry he struggles???? he'll probably struggle for the rest of his life???
like trauma like this doesn't get healed in a month or two. it doesn't get healed sith the power of love. he has a literal LIFETIME of trauma and abuse to work through and he hasn't even started to, cause he lacks the means and probably doesn't even understand he's damaged.
but the thing is, he is. he's damaged, it's gonna show, it's gonna mess things up. it's not his fault. that's literally just trauma. if readers can't handle victims relying on self-destructive or just plain destructive behaviours to deal with or to move on from trauma, or just because they don't know any different, then they should stick to the oh-so-popular romanticised rape/victim falls for abuser trope that's in literally every other manga.
Hm, you're fundamentally correct and I agree to that but I would like to add that woojin's personal baggage is more of a sign of ocd (as somebody who has a first hand experience) along with co-dependency. Most of the domestic abuse survivors grown out of it,and do not impose but ofc there are lingering feeling of it. In woojin's case he mostly likely does not love taehwan in an innocent way or probably in any way. This a big statement but woojin's mannerism and behivorial frequently speaks otherwise as opposed to his words. Heck,he doesn't even seem to love minho but he is fascinated by the idea of love and the need to experience it. He seems to be out of it but that doesn't mean he isn't aware of his situation more like he has his eyes closed to let the storm pass. People like woojin, should often be catered with empathy and not sympathy . He isn't fragile but rather secluded and left to his courses through life which makes him look unarmed but id rather alarming. Although he is out of sorts and it might justify his actions but not the consequences,none under the prerequisite or pretence of instability have to be justified. They shouldn't be charged for it ofc but rather dealt with clinical and lovely atmosphere. What minho did to woojin is similar to what woojin is doing to taehwan almost alike generational trauma and he isn't even aware of it.Ik it's a happy ending or whatsoever or they'd end up together but I'm anticipating for healing arc and time apart. Woojin's character shouldn't be hated or applauded but rather studied bc it would be Highly unfair in taehwan's pov to get back together with him. Like those poor uke
My comment was cut short but there were 2 more Para's to it. But to keep it precised I highly advocate that woojin's character would get a peace of mind, else wise it wouldn't be similar to those thankless tops trauma dumping on those poor uke bc theg had a traumatic past
thank you so much. I swear.
Cheating is bad like that's true, but that doesn't make him like the most fk evil person ever. And most definitely not when you see how he was conditioned to do this. Woojin's mind is all over the place. People don't seem to understand the amount of power Minho has over Woojin. The mind is so strong. If you fuck it up because of abuse, it is so fk difficult to get rid of the damage. So umm Woojin DOES need A LOOTOTOOTOTOT of therapy
yes! exactly! like there's a difference between doing something bad because you want to, with full knowledge and intention, and doing something bad because you're conditioned and driven into a corner, and yes even if "only" emotionally and not physically forced
oh you're absolutely right, people like WooJin should be dealt with and have their problems addressed appropriately *before* they create problems for others, mymain complaint and the reason for my original comment is the absolute lack of compassion, understanding, and patience that I see in every comment in every new chapter, since they just seem to accuse and blame WooJin for everything.
also, I've never looked at it like that before but I think you're right, WooJin doesn't necessarily love TaeHwan or Minho, he is in deep need of another person to function and is infatuated with the idea of someone needing him as much back, like you said, so thanks for opening a new way of reading this ahah
Haha my pleasure . This would be my first ever comment on this site as I normally overlook the hate comments but yours caught my eye and I had to intervene bc of difference in viewpoint but similar stance. I necessarily try to read into a character's behaviour regardless of their trauma or disturbing past as the present "them" defines the most along with the remnants of past life. As I've said before that woojin's past would always be a part of him but doesn't correspond to normalising his actions even after blatant justification.
most of yall have no media literacy I swear
how are yall gonna blame Woojin for going back to Minho when we clearly see in the story just how deep Minho's conditioning and training run in Woojin's mind, as well as for how long that has been going on.
like yes, obviously cheating is bad and taehwan has every right to feel hurt and angry, but WooJin is NOT in a clear or sane state of mind, never has been. does that excuse his actions? not really, but it does explain them.
WooJin is a fragile and hurt person, and Minho has been taking advantage of that for years and years, molding him to obey him and depend only on him. Minho has completely re-wrote WooJin's brain, so it's no surprise that he believed him when he started having doubts about his relationship w TaeHwan, because depending on, relying on and believing only Minho has been engraved into WooJin's very core.
yall have clearly never been in an abusive relationship, and while I'm glad, it shows.
because of course WooJin would have doubts about TaeHwan, because TH is different from Minho, and WooJin doesn't know how to behave w him, doesn't know what rules to follow, how to act, what to think, because Minho has always decided that for him, so of course he's gonna fall back into hold habits and rely on Minho again when he comes back, especially because Minho is a really good manipulator and knows WooJin like the back of his hand, has built him to be like he is now, so he does what he's always done and take advantage of that.
think about it in terms of addiction, if it's easier. WooJin is addicted to Minho. no matter how bad it is for him, he's addicted to the stability it provides and the certainty, the familiarity of being around and with something you've always had. trying to quit any addiction is hell, and there are going to be set backs.
WooJin's setback was sleeping w him again that first time. he was in a fragile state of mind, Minho took advantage of that, and WooJin caved. not because WooJin is a bad person, or because he didn't care about TaeHwan, but because he is a mentally ill person, and Minho took advantage of his weakness.
would you blame and rage at a person who uses again after months of quitting a drug they were addicted to for years? I really hope not.
now, I'm not saying TaeHwan should forgive and forget, because that's unfair to him and to the hurt he's feeling which is absolutely valid and reasonable, but I am saying that he *was* warned about how difficult of a person WooJin is, and I don't think he took that seriously enough.
plus, the only "cheating" I think deserves to be called that is the first time, because after that it's rape under the threat of blackmail. and even that first time, could and would argue that it was rape under coercion and at the least sa against a person not in a sane state of mind.
that being said, Minho absolutely knows what he's doing and he's the only one I would personally put and blame on, TaeHwan deserves someone who can support him and stand by his side on their own, and WooJin need therapy. a lot of it, before even considering entering a relationship again.
peace out