I feel so connected and scared reading this manga

tw: death

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Ngl idk how I'd feel if my patient died while I was out trying to get something for myself. I'd blame myself a lot and just keep thinking "how did he feel before he died? Was he lonely? Did he atleast enjoy the remaining time he had?" I wonder if thats how he's thinking when he saw the cat wasnt moving.

ooo dw i feel the same way too! maybe not like yours because you're thinking of becoming a vet, but it is similar to mine bc i work in critical care (icu) and i take care of patients that are either close to dying or are hanging on by a thread. it's not an easy task but know that you have done all that you can for the patient even if the outcome isn't what you wished for. i have had situations where a patient is fine the minute then when you come back to check on them like a couple of minutes later, they have trouble breathing and coded, only to pass away after...

once you experience your first death it will hit you. you'll feel depressed for a time, feeling like you did something wrong along the way and wishing that you could have done better, but most importantly, remember that it wasn't your fault. you did all you could for the patient (if there was no signs of negligent care) and responded accordingly for them to get them comfortable.

i'm sure this is similar to being a vet except that you're working on an animal and i work with humans. nonetheless, it works with experience because in this line of work, there are chances you will experience a death of a patient time and time again, but zou will become stronger from it each time because you'll get more attentive and dare i say, used to it since sometimes. however, keep in mind that there are lives you may not be able to save, no matter what you do ;;; hope this helps!