thought about sex scenes

I feel like as of late there's this trend, or maybe it always has been that way, where the sex scenes are, yes, more explicit, but feel just icky? Like the top never listens to what the bottom's asking for or saying no, it's rough, not that I have anything against that, but it just doesn't look like the bottom is in much pleasure. It all just feels violent and bordering on rape. Like is it much to ask for a willing, proactive enjoying himself bottom?