what does leon means by”maybe i can finally let go” in chapter 54 ??

he might be thinking of submitting to the constant banging from those 3 idk. bc tbh the only thing left of him is his pride of not wanting to die in that world and maybe an answer to why cliff left him just like that. now that he can store mana in some way, i think he would try to do anything just to get enough of them and idk maybe take his revenge. what an unrealistically strong lad