lol

koqiu February 15, 2024 1:40 pm

i didn’t expect the overwhelming support for minato lol, i’m actually a little annoyed at him because he isnt communicating what’s wrong, someone said that it’s shizuma’s fault because he was “flirting” with a co worker in front of his partner who gets easily jealous but shizuma literally says in the chapter that if he knew his boss was gonna be there and hand him his underwear, he wouldn’t of parked where minato could see them. the miscommunication trope just annoys me tbh, i hope minato learns how to communicate his issues soon

Responses
    Qxeen_zxy February 15, 2024 2:04 pm

    I agree with this somewhat but I think having anyone who isn’t your partner grab your boxers and give it to you and to “tug of war” it a little is just straight up weird. If that happened to me, I’d be the first one to tell that person to stop it because it’s not only disrespectful to me but it’s sexual harassment and I won’t stand for it. Instead he carried on joking with her. Yes, he shouldn’t have stormed out and ignored him but he’s notoriously easily jealous and his bf knows this already. It was his opportunity to set a very reasonable and clear boundary and he didn’t. He invited this miscommunication by his lack of boundaries. Also who tf touches someone else’s underwear? Even if it’s been washed, it’s just weird and kinda gross ngl.

    koqiu February 15, 2024 2:22 pm
    I agree with this somewhat but I think having anyone who isn’t your partner grab your boxers and give it to you and to “tug of war” it a little is just straight up weird. If that happened to me, I’d be ... Qxeen_zxy

    oh yeah no i definitely get that aspect, i dont want to touch anyone’s underwear, i feel like there was a better way to go about this trope than to just give him his panties LOL but i’m more annoyed with the fact that minato has said himself time and time again that he will trust shizuma and communicate his issues yet his development is thrown out the window because the author doesn’t know what to do with his character and their arcs anymore, this type of thing just gets boring and more goofy (hence the underwear) as time goes on it’s just causing me to be annoyed because it’s like we’re getting nowhere from where we started. also please tell me if im wrong but i don’t think shizuma has said anything about setting boundaries between him and others for minato’s jealous personality because i think that’s just a character flaw that minato will have to learn to grow and deal with (eg that whole “i need to stop being jealous and reassure myself he loves me” trope) unless he has said he will start to set boundaries which in that case it’s like minato and just his development being thrown out the window as well. the best option would be for shizuma to set boundaries and minato learn that shizuma loves him but is just a very laid back person at times? to show that they are both putting in the work to make the relationship better (not just have minato be all “arghh being jealous is bad”) because his concerns are valid

    koqiu February 15, 2024 2:22 pm
    oh yeah no i definitely get that aspect, i dont want to touch anyone’s underwear, i feel like there was a better way to go about this trope than to just give him his panties LOL but i’m more annoyed with t... koqiu

    i am so sorry for this tangent holy shit i did not realise how long this was

    Qxeen_zxy February 15, 2024 5:02 pm
    oh yeah no i definitely get that aspect, i dont want to touch anyone’s underwear, i feel like there was a better way to go about this trope than to just give him his panties LOL but i’m more annoyed with t... koqiu

    I agree that they both need to grow up and find a middle ground but I think that insecurity is a learned behaviour. In a relationship, you have to constantly and consistently show that you are a good and safe partner otherwise issues will come up later on. Shizuma needs to set boundaries with other people in order to limit his bfs insecurities. It’s as simple as saying “please don’t grab me or hug me since I’m in a relationship and I don’t want to give my partner the wrong idea.” Minato also needs to be better at saying what he needs in order to feel secure. Since insecurity is a social relationship issue, you can only fix it through social relationships. I know since I’ve been through it. My therapist told me constantly that you can’t fix insecurity alone since your brain is working against you so you need another brain to tell you and show you that your brain needs to change. You adapt to survive in traumatic situations so you need to adapt back to survive in happy situations. In this case, shizuma needs to make the first step. Minato has already expressed that he’s jealous and insecure so shizuma needs to respond by doing things that shows he won’t be falling into “temptation”. Everyone is capable of cheating or abandoning someone if the circumstances are right. No one is immune to temptation. The way you avoid falling into temptation is by avoiding the temptation to begin with. To prevent cheating, you need boundaries. To prevent abandonment, you need to check in with your partner on a regular basis and tell them how you feel and what might be pushing you away. This is what my therapist taught me. What Minato needs is someone to sit him down, hug him and assure him that nothing will ever happen then going out and proving it by setting boundaries. Then he will need to learn to start saying when he’s feeling insecure instead of running away. Really, what they both need is couple therapy and individual therapy but this is Japan and for some reason, there’s still a stigma against that.

    Qxeen_zxy February 15, 2024 5:03 pm
    i am so sorry for this tangent holy shit i did not realise how long this was koqiu

    lol same. I wrote my response then realised it was very long

    koqiu February 15, 2024 9:18 pm
    I agree that they both need to grow up and find a middle ground but I think that insecurity is a learned behaviour. In a relationship, you have to constantly and consistently show that you are a good and safe p... Qxeen_zxy

    i definitely agree with what you said. i hope this is called therapy game because they go to therapy or something but yeah my issues aren’t with minato’s insecurity but instead the fact that he just keeps setting himself back after he’s learned and grown. (which isn’t his fault lol i don’t think the author knows what to do anymore) again, the miscommunication trope just gets old after it’s been used so many times, i hope their new conflict is actually something interesting and delves deeper into their characters than just “insecure” and “laid back”

    Qxeen_zxy February 15, 2024 10:42 pm
    i definitely agree with what you said. i hope this is called therapy game because they go to therapy or something but yeah my issues aren’t with minato’s insecurity but instead the fact that he just keeps ... koqiu

    Yeah. I think the miscommunication is super overused for almost all authors out there. It’s so sad because there’s a lot of miscommunication arcs they can use that are realistic and relatable. I hope this time it’s one of those realistic and relatable moments tho but I doubt it