that was were i was really sure that i would stop ( how many times did i say that i would stop) i honestly got kinda depressed? i dont know hahaha while writing this i kinda realize how i was just that one second lead that doesnt stand a chance
but right now i was on the process of moving forward but then he keeps on bugging me? ( i know its because maybe he treats me as a friend, but still give me some space to move forward) sometimes i feel like his giving me mix signals
he would tell me that he accidentally got out of a quiz window because he was chatting me on messenger, he would joke with me because i wasnt used with my phone, he would (i dont know if im delulu) lean in a way that gives you butterflies whenever were talking and stuff
but one thing is this week he started calling me “mia marie” during class and i told him that my second name was joy and he told me he likes how marie goes with my name ╥﹏╥ like please im in a phase of moving forward
another one is during our research (scope and limitations) and it was supposed to be passed on 11:59 i was totally cramming cause i still need to do my project on our other subject i told him that i was sorry cause i was still busy with my project ╥﹏╥
but then he made our research all on his own huhu. i told him that i owe him and i will deffinitely help next time but all he said that it was fine cause it was just easy. and then he bid me good luck with my project and i said thank you but then after that i really felt like i want to confess huhu so i told him that i have something to tell him and then he kept on bugging me to tell him. but then i lost the courage so i said ill tell him next time, and he said that he bid me good luck so i should tell him so i told him you cant take away something that you said but then he bumped my message saying that i’ll tell him next time ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ i told him it wasnt important, he still persisted then i said you should sleep ge said “curiosity kills the cat” and then i said “good night” and he just said ok (huhu i was disappointed in myself cause i was really close to giving in)
but then morning came and everything just went fine until i was on my way home together with my friend lisa, she told ( her mouth slipped) me how ian said that liam was having a hard time because he was going through his club in the morning because they had an event and now his piled with to do’s and deadline and the research, and that jane had to to his part on our bcal project… that was when i really felt guilty but i also felt i donno uhm i was being delulu that he willingly took the task because i was busy with my project huhu ( yeah its still a group work so what his doing is also for himself but i just thought that maybee maybe he willingly took the task because i wasss busssyy)
so this is what happened im really confuse with my self and with him ╥﹏╥ i feel really guilty ( i know you must think im shit, and i promise im also thinking the same thing! but i swear i just cant stop myself huhu) i just wanna find i new crush and all but i cant move on
Girl it's totally fine. I mean i understand the girl's code but you can't really control who you like. And honestly, you tried your best to make things go away, it's not your fault. Your friend isn't at fault either, cuz she liked him first and all but you're equally not at fault. I once had feelings for a guy but then my best friend started dating him (I never told her abt my feelings), though I love my bestie, I couldn't stop liking him either and out of fear I could never tell her. I was friends with the guy so ig she started getting jealous of us so in the end I had to break off any kind of contact with him (that was after like 2 years of pinning after him) so it'll take some time but don't let this get to you. I'm all good now (I've been dating my bf for 1+ year now) so I'm sure yours is just a phase too :) oh and, if liam doesn't seem interested in Jane then you defo should shoot your shot, just like you understood Jane,if she's your bff she should try to do it too.
so right now im thinking of confessing huhu i donno i dont have any plns on getting in jane’s way i just really wanna get this out of my chest. i wanna be the mia who is a happy go lucky girl who had a crush on every guy she sees again ╮(￣▽￣)╭
thanks girl, but the kinda problem is jane and i arent really that close ( we just know each other, i mean were friends but were not friends friends) . and i feel like shes the kinda person that will really pin on the person she likes and stuff, and this is what really scares me i dont want her to see me as an enemy or something, and i dont really have any kind of ulterior motives its just that things got unbalance that it lead to this situation
so i have this friend “ jane”, and we like the same person.
story time— it was like the first week of class and we were both walking home when we met liam, our classmate. so everything was just smooth cause we had a small conversation and all (the three of us). a few days after that jane and i are in the same team in a game, during practice jane told me she had a crush on liam and i was happy for her but then she told me that liam has a girlfriend and all cause we saw a pic with him and a girl while stalking his facebook, still she talked about how he was crush material, how he was top on his class, and how he won awards on robotics something.
i never really had a crush on liam, cause i honestly thought that he was gay (no offense) cause he was feminine and stuff. but then we got in the same research group together, and i was the leader. almost all of our members were bagage and liam was the only one i could depend on. we would always message each other because of our research, at first it was all research related until sometime we joked around and i got really comfortable around him.
and later then i realized that i got a small tiny crush for him (im shit i know). but then i pushed the thought away, but i realize that jane also got close with liam, and i feel like she has this jealous with me when im around liam, she would always use my phone to chat liam “hi liam” and stuff and she would also use liams phone to chat me “hi mia” and stuff.and that made me thought that they got close and that kinda hurt
i got really confused and i really felt shit cause i realized my feelings for him and i feel like (i did) broke the girl code. i really didnt intend for this to happen at all.
time skip, i think jane realized that i kinda like liam and she started i dont know acting out of jealousy, she would always stare at us whenever we talked and stuff. that was when i really decided to just stop.
i really did try to stop it. until i realized that i actually like him and things makes me confuse his actions, on the day of our research title defense, liam and i talked about things and it was when i confirmed that he actually has a girlfriend but then he told me they broke up, then i asked him about jane… i dont really remember but then the only thing i remember was when liam said “ jane would always come to me” (its kinda like that, but in our language) like i dont know.
jane actually is a leader like me however, she had her group disolve because of the stress from irresponsible members. ian (our smart classmate) got to her and comforted her. and me and liam were watching them from afar, i told liam “why dont you go to her” and he said something that goes like jane was out of her reach