It's existential. He's comparing his life to those around him, and he's thinking about what it's all for and what it even means to be alive. Purpose, desire, love. And I think he's also still thinking about director yoon in some ways. Well that's how I interpret it, anyway.
it ties into what jay told him in the beginning of the chapter--its basically him coming to terms with the fact that he still wants to keep living and experience joy (which he denied himself because he blamed himself for the death of his brother and mother). its a big turning point for him and its the first time hes allowed himself to cry in years
I don’t think my brain was braining while I was reading this latest chapter (78). Like I read the words, but didn’t comprehend them lol (probably because I couldn’t translate the script’s dialogue he was reading from into easy-brain words??) Can someone please baby-it-down for me so that my mental can understand what exactly the script was saying. I feel like I missed something very important because I couldn’t quite capture the reason as to why he was crying, but like I want to cry with him. PLEASE HELP AND EXPLAIN