Oh, so you're new to BL. Let me explain then:
BL is an umbrella term for a LOT of content. In manga (anf then webtoon etc that came afterwards) Yaoi is part of BL, but not all of BL, and definitely not separate from BL.
And boy's love doesn't mean necessarily romance, by the way. It is just a term used to name for stories with homosexual relationship as the main plot, in opposition to straight romance which, back then, was considered "the standard". It was different mentalities.
As for the term Yaoi itself, at first it was directed towards doujinshi type of content. And the name itself is an acronym that basically means it has no point, no plot, no direction because it was originally naming doujinshi smut.
Then, with the rise of shounen-ai, Yaoi became a term just to name BLs that had explicit sex scenes in them, in opposition to those that didn't (shounen-ai). Which is also why, even though originally shounen-ai meant a romantic story between two high boys or two young adult men, the term started being used even when characters are 40.
The thing is, YAOI and shounen-ai are Japanese words that appeared with manga and are mainly associated with it. And because manga is the oldest and lead to the creation of modern manhwa and donghua and webtoons, the system used for manga is used for the rest of Asian comics.
Everyone in BL Community knew that back when manga wasn''t mainstream (it was in my country, but we are some of the biggest manga consumers on the planet that's why), because we were a small community. BL manga was looked down on, we were just considered weird for reading about gay relationshisps, so BL manga's popularity grew way slower than manga's and actually skyrocketed with webtoons.
So a bunch of people around 2018 and after came, which is probably your case, and at the same time woke culture rose, which meant that a bunch people who cared more about appearing morally right than about knowing the actual truth appeared in the community.
And those newcomers, which you seem to be part of, listened to some random girls who wanted to escape the fetish allegations and therefore started crying about the immoral aspect of Yaoi and how it's different from BL so it's okay to read BL and not Yaoi.
And then people like you took that load of crap and ran with it, and now we're here, with you being relatively new to BL (compared to me) and confidently saying, from your social-media based, 0-reading knowledge, that Yaoi isn't BL, to me, someone who has read a lot about it wat before it was mainstream, and has been around for quite a while, long enough to see people like you appear.
Isn't it funny how we constantly witness woke culture erasing knowledge to satisfy people who seek validation?
Am I weird for saying this is kinda hot