And yes for anyone wondering I am hypothesising that Jk might be a borderline, welcome to the family brother I hope therapy works for u <3
You are so real for saying ppl like Dan want to be martyrs and saviours, it's so true, they feel unworthy of anything unless they literally save someone's life, and also unconsciously then feel the need to be mistreated so they'd feel better about themselves 1) they feel like they are repaying their unworthiness 2) they feel like better ppl in contrast to their abusers 3) since they are disconnected from themselves/their emotions, emotional pain makes them feel alive. emotions make us feel alive but victims of serious childhood abuse are unable to feel strong good emotions 4) this last one is the worst: they feel validated while harmed. "I am someone who is worthy of being a direct target for harm, I'm not a complete nothingness, I exist"
That was a really good analysis and I agree with you!
EXACTLYYYYY, though Dan is probably as aware of that as Jk is of his own behaviour.
Also the last one is SO real, maybe controversial, but I’ve definitely been in that mindset myself. Besides, fear and pain is possibly the 2 emotions that make you feel the most alive you’ve ever been.
After a close near death experience you get such a rush of endorphins that it’s comparable to drugs, and especially if you’re in an environment that constantly makes you feel that way you can get used to it and eventually build a tolerance to it.
But back to the point, Dan has had such a trauma filled life that he’s definitely taken on a little of that saviour complex. He’s not to blame of course, I just wish he had someone by his side to make him aware of it is all…
Thank you so much! I appreciate the feedback haha ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
Yes the last one is for the bravest only, but I've been through some shit as well bestie.. including the near death experience and I've healed a ton. it's def a part of healing process to admit to the stuff you've been unconsciously doing... Honestly, I believe that none are to blame ever, I am controversial to the tips of my toes... I wish you happiness and peace, cheers ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
I previously wrote an entire essay about this manwha but unfortunately can’t find my comment. So I’m rewriting it lol.
I spent some time reading reactions from all sorts of people, those who seem to get it, those who don’t. In my opinion this manwha isn’t for everyone, but got popular due to its art and the previous story from the same author.
As someone who also has a personality disorder and has family members with mental illnesses, the telltale signs are all there. At points it reads off as comical to me, given the exasperated nature of Jk’s outbursts, almost reminding me of a 5 year old child who hasn’t learned to emotionally control himself. And unfortunately, he probably won’t learn that in the future either.
I can understand both Kim Dan and Jaekyung’s actions. I used to think of Dan as a pushover, but hes way more than that. He instinctively desires to “fix” Jk, a response garnered from Jk’s own narcissistic personality. Both have their flaws, but only one of them is capable of being charge of the situation, thus making all of Dan’s efforts fruitless.
In my opinion, Jae’s outbursts are just misguided emotions channeled into the only emotion he knows (and allows himself) to feel- anger. I suspect he never had anyone in his life teach him emotional regulation. The only thing he has and works for is his career- anything beside that is collateral to him. Hence his disregard of anything else of value, bc in his eyes, he doesn’t believe he can be anything else rather than what he is and his reputation. It’s why alcohol broke down his inhibitions so easily, I can’t imagine what a powerful dose of l/s/d would do to his poor ego, lmao.
Dan on the other hand, he’s an empath. He feels, he wants to understand the misunderstood and fix them. He doesn’t realise that he can’t really do that, unless the other person is willing to change themselves. He takes on the abuse bc he believes that going through it will somehow make him a martyr- or a saviour to Jk. It doesn’t help that they have an unbalanced professional and personal relationship either.
I can’t say I really blame Dan though, I get where he’s coming from. When you see a beautiful strong stallion, what else is there to do but to admire it. However that’s all you can do, because that stallion is not a domesticated horse. It will kick, snarl and act all sorts of hostile if it thinks it’s trapped. Jae is already deep inside his own head with all the doom scrolling he’s being subjected to by the media, with talk of the peak of his career starting to go downhill after his injuries.
What bothers me personally is just how many people take the relationship at face value. “Red flag!” “Green flag!” Take a minute to think about this. You can say you hate Jk all you want bc he’s abusive, and that’s valid, but at the end of the day, we all know the story isn’t just going to introduce a new love interest that “saves” Dan bc that would ruin the entire plot, and all the character development that’s been happening, like Jk slowly realising there might be other things that are important in his life besides being number 1.
I’m glad the kids are calling out Jk’s wrongful behaviour, but I also think it’s a little immature in a sense that it’s failing to understand that Jk is also most likely a victim of abandonment himself- evident by his emotional dysregulation. Again, this is not an excuse of his actions, but it is an explanation. And Dan’s job is not to fix him, but to do his job, something that Dan is lately starting to overstep bc he’s blinded by desire. It’s natural, but so is Jk wanting to maintain his boundaries, the problem with that being him not being capable of wording that in a sensible manner and instead throwing a tantrum.
Personally I loved the contrast between ch44 and ch45. It shows the euphoria and bliss of the good times, and violent terror and aggression in the next. Reminds me of my own experiences in life. Life isn’t black and white- rather it’s a series of microscopic grey dots filling a blank picture. I think I’ve over-analysed this, it’s probably not that deep, but I wanted to say my piece.
My prediction for how this is going to go isn’t really much- possibly both characters suffer major losses (Jae in his career & Dan in his family) aka what is most important to them, making them realise that having someone by their side is better and that it’s worth to try and work through their issues. That being said, there’s not much fun in speculating, so I might as well shut up.
If u read this whole thing- uhh thanks .. ^^