SPOILERS
i can't help but agree with you. words fail to capture the genius of jinsol's intricate character. he's someone who's constantly had to self reflect, (re)consider and rearrange his thoughts and words accordingly, doubt the credibility of his existence and keep it well hidden. he's had to swallow his emotions and enter a state of neverending pretense inside an unforgiving society which denied his very being. not only did his familial environment which once, from the eyes of a child, consisted his world fail him, but the vaster world as well. the burden is insufferably heavy. the discord under the guise of a functional society he's been made to suffer in harshly taught him to be well spoken and mysterious at the cost of surviving.
yet despite his traumatic childhood and painful lifestyle he remained considerate of others. he was aware of what it meant to carelessly dump his fate onto just any stranger. his overly complex way of thought, which lead him to a long and tedious (emotionally and physically) journey of deceiving saegye, is the embodiment of his struggle of growing up as a false. and his plan backfired in the end cus he was influenced. he started developing feelings for saegye and doubting himself. cus what he desired in the end is validation, acceptance, dedication, liberation, 'a world which was okay to live in despite being meaningless'.
rereading parts of the story again and, while i always gush about the poignant dialogues and story overall, i’m reminded once again how beautifully complex the characters are, jinsol especially. while we were still reading the story through saegye’s eyes alone, jinsol’s dialogues, views, and philosophy are complex and so poetically articulated that—despite the obvious warning signs from his words themselves—you can’t help but be drawn towards him. idk man i just really love jinsol a lot