Sure cheating is wrong but I hope y’all in the comments never talk to a real abuse victi...

It's not like he's brainwashed, how I interpret is that the MC got so anxious in his relationship with golden retriever boy that he ran towards the thing that would comfort him. That thing was Minho, not bc he was a good partner (we can all agree that he sucks), but it's bc something the MC knew very well, it was familiar, it was predictable. But after the crisis was over, he saw his mistake.
The MC is always miserable in love (ha! See what I did there!?) Bc he's seems to always be looking for a reason for people to leave him.

Cheating is wrong, I think we all agree in that. But that's not the point the op was trying to make. The reader isn't the one being cheated on, there's absolutely no reason to get this heated over this. And there's a way more productive and interesting theme we can discuss in this BL like abusive relationships, why is it common for victims to go back to the abuser, anxiety and fear of abandonment...
I agree that the MC isn't brainwashed, but he just went back to Minho's house bc it was familiar and predictable, and he felt comfort jn that.

I didn't know the reply was posted on the next page, I thought my comment had been deleted, please ignore the second one haha
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Oh no I just brought the cheating part up because one of the reply said all readers blaming him are victim blamers, I didn’t know if that involved the cheating part or not so I brought it up and cleared up that not all of them hating Woojin for the cheating is victim blaming

I’ve been in Woojin’s situation before and have been cheated on as well, so I’m aware of how things can be. It’s difficult to manage when someone is taking advantage of you and I was so naive back then. No support at all.

I think the MC is a bit brainwashed to think that Minho is a safe haven for him. He said it himself, he thinks Minho is right about everything. It’s sad

I’m talking abt what literally just happened in the story. They got back in contact and the ex immediately went back to the abuse. like he was just abused in like the last chapters uploaded. And (spoiler) will continue to.

TY, I appreciate you (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

You said “he was actively being abused.” I’m only talking about the part where he cheated due to his trauma from the abuse and the effects it had on his mentality. You said he was actively being abused and it was not trauma. But that doesn’t make sense because the ex and mc weren’t contacting each other before he cheated. If there was no contact being made and the ex was not full on actively influencing him by contacting him- then how would the abuse be continuing when he hasn’t even seen him?

The timeline goes: mc was in an abusive relationship, then got out of it and got into a relationship with the good guy. But the trauma from the previous relationship caused him to have growing insecurities which eventually led to him reaching out to the ex again. I still don’t see how what I said was incorrect.

I also was never talking about what happened after the cheating. The trauma topic I was discussing was only ever about BEFORE the cheating and how it caused the mc to cheat. You replied to me saying it was not past tense. But by definition of the timeline, it is. You also said I simplified it to the mc doing it out of trauma but regardless- that is part of the reason even if you don’t like how it’s simplified. Otherwise you’re implying that the mc didn’t cheat due to the trauma caused by his past relationship, and he did it cause he wanted to??

Anyways at the end of the day, this is all a fictional story and it is not as serious as you make it to be. Let us not mix reality and fiction and keep them both separate. Not every fictional story and relationship is as complex as you think because real life relationships are completely different. You can take real life abuse victims and stories seriously, but analyzing a fictional character based on real life logic is not the greatest idea. Some authors want to keep the characters more simple than complex like you think. And some authors give simple reasons for why the characters do things in contrast to real life people.

He reached out to his ex again, which is unfortunately the reality for abuse survivors, and his abuser immediately began abusing him again...? He is actively being abused right now in the story.

My original reply was never about what’s happening right now, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. It was only ever about before the cheating and how it led up to it. That’s it. But you tried correcting me despite not understanding what i talked about. He was NOT being actively abused before the cheating and was solely focused on his relationship with the good guy. I was only ever discussing why he started having insecurities and why he went to cheat. Never said anything about going back to the ex. That was never the topic or point I was trying to make

Okay, so let's simplify this then. He went back to his previous home after getting into a fight with ML - unfortunately this tracks, he feels like he does not belong there anymore and where else would he go? He genuinely does not have a place he feels like he can go to. When his ex wakes him up he immediately starts abusing MC.
He did not cheat until after he got back into contact with MC and started being abused by him.
It's years of trauma + the abuse he experiences the second he gets back into contact with his ex. Then the cheating happens.

Okay, but this is a story that has spent its entire time trying to realistically depict the mental trauma and anguish of someone who has in a long abusive relationship that has damaged their ability to make relationships. It goes out of its way to explore and establish less commonly known impacts of abusive relationships like this. The author is very clearly trying to portray abuse realistically.

Fiction's relationship with how it effects people in reality is complex, it shouldn't be simplified to, "Well, they're completely separate." People's opinions or views are often informed by fiction. My point is that I find it extremely concerning when people echo real life sentiments that harm abuse survivors towards characters with no thought, especially characters that are written more realistically. Many people, for example, will recognize traits or experiences in characters as in themselves. If someone goes through all of this and relates to the MC, how would they feel going to the comments and seeing people talk about how horrible they are? I've seen comments like the ones we're talking about on stories even where a character's biggest crime is being indecisive/not trusting enough/being scared. People arguing that blatant depictions of rape are Not Rape, Actually. Or that abuse is okay and forgivable if the abuser is also a survivor, and actually the survivor is at fault for leaving their abuser. It is not like this is the single story where this is an issue, it's a theme. As a queer man, SA survivor, and someone who has been through very abusive friendships, I find it concerning. Especially when I've faced people on this site who treat me like that.

Anyways. Ignoring semantical arguments. The point of my initial comment is: Hey, when you see stories with realistic depictions of abuse, it can be more than a little concerning when people say the same bad shit abt fictional characters that ppl say IRL to real survivors. So I genuinely hope people don't do that. It's upsetting and triggering. It's a theme on this site and genuinely every website I've ever been on and it concerns me. Obviously, I have no real control over people's thoughts and actions, but the fact that it's generally a sea of people who say this kinda stuff makes me feel like I should leave a comment acknowledging that hey, maybe that is not okay! Hopefully make some people feel better if they were upset or hurt. Y'know, the small things. Because I know I've been there, and seeing just one person say something is enough to give ease.
At this point, the story hurts me too much to continue reading it until we have a definitive ending, so I guess I'll see you all again when the story concludes.

To make it clear, I am muting now, as I cannot talk more abt a topic like this that is relatively triggering to me. Take care. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Hey you did great explaining, thank you. You took your dear time so others could understand! :) Cheating is never okay obviously. And what you said makes sense, great details. You paid attention to the story!

Thanks

And it’s more better coming from a queer man. I’m man myself (bisexual) and I’ve been abused as well so it’s great hearing your explanation on the effects of the abuse on victims. I’m kinda icky about the cheating situation but conflicted cause it’s not like he WANTED to cheat.

Exactly.

hey so the mute button didn’t work but ! ty for replies, i apologize if i ended up getting too emotional or anything! i was traveling all yesterday so i was pretty mentally wiped