Sure cheating is wrong but I hope y’all in the comments never talk to a real abuse victi...

coffeedrinker January 10, 2024 11:05 pm

Sure cheating is wrong but I hope y’all in the comments never talk to a real abuse victim like this. Talking about wanting him to die and how he’s irredeemable trash, etc., it’s honestly horrifying.

Responses
    zy5knn January 10, 2024 11:12 pm

    right like um these mfs in the comments have no empathy

    yaoi___mylove January 12, 2024 10:52 am

    I'm sure they're underage or ppl who got cheated a lot who says that bullshit about the uke

    plinky25 January 15, 2024 1:26 pm

    Let’s not forget that this is a fictional story and MANY people separate how they react and feel for fictional characters vs how they’d act towards real people. Of course people would have less sympathy for a 2d character and easily be able to talk shit because he’s not real on the internet vs irl.

    Anyways I don’t agree with the dying part but I DO agree that I believe mc is irredeemable in the way that I don’t think he deserves to get back with the good bf. He can heal from all the trauma, get some help, and STAY independent since that’s what he should be learning instead. It would leave a bad taste in my mouth if the incident was swept under the rug and he gets back together with the good bf.
    -
    Y’all can say whatever you want about empathy or abuse being the cause of his actions but it does not change the fact that he did a bad thing, realized it was wrong late, lied, continued doing it, and got angry at the bf for being questioned while he was lying. It doesn’t change the fact that the mc definitely cause the bf to have his own trauma because of him. The mc hurt the bf badly. There is no taking back the pain he caused. Having trauma can’t excuse his actions.

    Heu77 January 15, 2024 1:37 pm

    My only point is that he doesn’t deserve to be with ML for cheating on him. He needs therapy, not a relationship cause he clearly can’t handle it. He knows it’s wrong but can’t help himself, that other dude sucks the most and uke is trash for cheating but I can forgive if he gets therapy.

    Cheating isn’t just wrong, it’s disgusting and pathetic to do. But since he’s a victim, I obviously won’t blame him too much but I also wont excuse his cheating and be done with him. I’ll stay as a friend and help him though. Cause he needs support.

    Vinland Refugee January 15, 2024 1:54 pm

    The victim blaming in mangago comment section is always appalling. Don't expect much from here.

    Heu77 January 15, 2024 2:11 pm
    The victim blaming in mangago comment section is always appalling. Don't expect much from here. Vinland Refugee

    If they’re just saying he’s trash for cheating, not victim blaming. If they’re saying he’s trash that can’t be redeemed and how it’s all his fault, they’re victim blaming. I hate peoples like those. Yes Woojin did cheat and is trash for that and not a good partner, but I think he’s not evil and still redeemable. The only evil one is Minho, the one who caused him to be like that and trying to break apart his relationship. Anyone who thinks Woojin did it to himself, fuck them.

    Rin January 15, 2024 2:12 pm
    Let’s not forget that this is a fictional story and MANY people separate how they react and feel for fictional characters vs how they’d act towards real people. Of course people would have less sympathy for... plinky25

    . I agree with everything you said.

    yaoi___mylove January 15, 2024 3:19 pm
    Let’s not forget that this is a fictional story and MANY people separate how they react and feel for fictional characters vs how they’d act towards real people. Of course people would have less sympathy for... plinky25

    I agree with u , since the uke hated his bf talking with a girl , he should hold himself back from cheating , especially cheating with the one who caused his trauma , but I think the uke have borderline personality disorder, he doesn't know how to think or how to deal with emotions , because they feel empty , they have some times when they can't breath and feel extremely scared , idk exactly how it's since I didn't read a lot about , but I think when he cheated he was in that condition, I'm not saying what he did was right
    and I agree with u about not going back to his bf , because I feel bad for him, he's so nice and innocent , because I hate it when ppl with traumas cause other ppl traumas

    coffeedrinker January 15, 2024 4:10 pm
    Let’s not forget that this is a fictional story and MANY people separate how they react and feel for fictional characters vs how they’d act towards real people. Of course people would have less sympathy for... plinky25

    Something important you are missing:
    He isn’t doing things just because he is traumatized. You are talking like this is in the past. He is actively still being abused.

    His ex-partner spent years grooming him into being completely dependent and reliant on him. It’s hard to break that suddenly and all at once. On average, abuse survivors return to their abusers seven times before permanently leaving. It can take years. Abuse survivors have an extremely complex relationship with their abusers, and I think simplifying it to the MC cheating due to trauma is unfair and a disservice to the writer who seems to be trying to portray a somewhat more realistic depiction of an abuse survivor. If you’re confused, I recommend doing a bit of research on this, if it is not too upsetting. I can’t explain it as well as a professional.

    Of course, yes, it’s fiction, but I think regardless it is disturbing to see people in the comments espouse harmful rhetoric, hence I hope it does not translate to their real lives. People do really talk like this about real life survivors, after all.

    coffeedrinker January 15, 2024 4:41 pm
    My only point is that he doesn’t deserve to be with ML for cheating on him. He needs therapy, not a relationship cause he clearly can’t handle it. He knows it’s wrong but can’t help himself, that other ... Heu77

    I mostly agree with you, don’t worry, I’m not taking issue with your opinion necessarily.

    Having any sort of relationship with a survivor who is still stuck like this is traumatizing and difficult.

    While I’m not blaming the ML for being cheated on or being upset about it, or even for making mistakes, I want to just flatly acknowledge that jumping into a romantic and sexual relationship with someone who just broke away with their abuser is generally a bad idea.
    It’s not fair to either of them, and MC still has a lot of mindsets and trauma responses to undo - years of abuse take a long time to undo. Not that he has to be completely free, but people breaking up with any partner tend to make bad relationship decisions after they break up.

    MC needs a somewhat stable life on his own outside of his abuser before getting into a relationship. Again, while I’m not blaming the ML for getting cheated on, realistically he should not enter a relationship with MC until MC is stable, and he should have helped MC with that/avoided pursuing a relationship. It’s sad and traumatic for both of them.

    Heu77 January 15, 2024 5:03 pm
    I mostly agree with you, don’t worry, I’m not taking issue with your opinion necessarily.Having any sort of relationship with a survivor who is still stuck like this is traumatizing and difficult. While I�... coffeedrinker

    I don’t remember if ML knew about MC’s history. He can’t help much if he doesn’t know, but he does realize and acknowledges that Woojin isn’t acting normal. He really needs to stabilize himself before getting into a relationship, he knows what he did was wrong, and ML should’ve expected this if he had known (I don’t remember though).

    Vinland Refugee January 15, 2024 7:23 pm
    If they’re just saying he’s trash for cheating, not victim blaming. If they’re saying he’s trash that can’t be redeemed and how it’s all his fault, they’re victim blaming. I hate peoples like thos... Heu77

    We weren't talking about cheating. We're talking about victims of abusive relationships and how the actually act irl. Victims aren't perfect, they make mistakes. The op was saying that people jn the comments are quick to judge the ml, just bc he cheated. The ML cheated bc he was anxious and turned back to what was familiar to him, it wasn't healthy, but it was what he knew and was an uncomfortable comfort zone.

    plinky25 January 15, 2024 10:54 pm
    Something important you are missing:He isn’t doing things just because he is traumatized. You are talking like this is in the past. He is actively still being abused.His ex-partner spent years grooming him in... coffeedrinker

    Wait but was he being abused by the ex while he was dating the good bf? Cause I don’t remember if they kept in contact. It would make more sense had the ex kept contact with him and was putting all these ideas into his head to cause it. Were they still actively contacting each other? But I remember the mc started being distant from the ml and got really insecure and started thinking all sorts of ideas on his own then got in touch willingly with the ex. I don’t really get the part where he is still being abused while they were not in touch? Unless you meant to word it in a way that meant the mc was still affected by the abuse that caused it.

    plinky25 January 15, 2024 10:56 pm
    We weren't talking about cheating. We're talking about victims of abusive relationships and how the actually act irl. Victims aren't perfect, they make mistakes. The op was saying that people jn the comments ar... Vinland Refugee

    Btw I think you mean to say MC, not ML. MC means main character and we refer to the bottom as the mc. ML means male lead, which usually refers to the male love interest. We refer to the good bf as the ML. You might get people confused reading this comment thread by making them think the good bf cheated lol

    Heu77 January 15, 2024 11:46 pm
    We weren't talking about cheating. We're talking about victims of abusive relationships and how the actually act irl. Victims aren't perfect, they make mistakes. The op was saying that people jn the comments ar... Vinland Refugee

    The uke knew it was wrong from the start, he was not brainwashed to think cheating is wrong. He was cheated by the Minho dude himself and was hurt over it, yet he does the same. He knew it was wrong from the start, no excuses there.

    That was not a “mistake”, that was intentional. But I do understand that he’s brainwashed to think Minho is alway right so he goes to him. Some things aren’t adding up but it’s okay so far realistically.

    Heu77 January 16, 2024 12:38 am
    We weren't talking about cheating. We're talking about victims of abusive relationships and how the actually act irl. Victims aren't perfect, they make mistakes. The op was saying that people jn the comments ar... Vinland Refugee

    And it’s okay to judge the MC for cheating, he is a bad partner for cheating but I can’t hate him because it’s not like he WANTED to cheat. But he is bad for lying even after realizing what he did was wrong. Even after Taehwan reassured him, he felt relieved he didn’t know. It’s not good at all.

    Woojin really needs therapy and distance from that trash before being in a relationship and hurting someone else. My trauma doesn’t give me the justification to hurt someone else who did absolutely nothing. I have to fix my issues first but I know it’s not always easy so I hope Woojin tells him afterTHAT situation happened in the raws (if you want me to spoil let me know).

    Heu77 January 16, 2024 12:48 am
    Wait but was he being abused by the ex while he was dating the good bf? Cause I don’t remember if they kept in contact. It would make more sense had the ex kept contact with him and was putting all these idea... plinky25

    No I don’t think they kept in contact.

    yaoi___mylove January 16, 2024 12:57 am
    And it’s okay to judge the MC for cheating, he is a bad partner for cheating but I can’t hate him because it’s not like he WANTED to cheat. But he is bad for lying even after realizing what he did was wro... Heu77

    you're so right

    Heu77 January 16, 2024 1:21 am
    you're so right yaoi___mylove

    Thank you!! I thought I was about to get heat for saying that and was scared to open my notification lol. Thanks. I personally can’t hold a grudge on Woojin because he’s not those cheaters who wanted to. He did it because he was so anxious and just mentally not there in the head to think, but of course not justified to hurt others (taehwan). Sigh I hope they resolve this

    Vinland Refugee January 16, 2024 2:56 am
    Btw I think you mean to say MC, not ML. MC means main character and we refer to the bottom as the mc. ML means male lead, which usually refers to the male love interest. We refer to the good bf as the ML. You m... plinky25

    YES!! Im sorry and thank you! Idk if I can edit replys here