It’s so hard trying to live up to people’s expectations and as a recovering perfectionist myself, I get how hard it is to let go. I used to have this mindset that I needed to “practice until mistakes could no longer be made” aka practice until my muscle memory was playing perfectly. It was so hard to face any criticism too because it felt like my whole self worth was being questioned at that moment too. I just hope mr kang can teach him that self worth isn’t performance based. Love is unconditional and a mistake won’t affect it. People’s expectations can go screw it! I know of violinists that admit to messing up a whole line but not a single person noticed because of how confident they are and how they have character and emotion in their playing. People won’t remember the few mistakes over how a piece made them feel. Also, it’s okay to be ordinary. This is a hard lesson but you don’t need to stand out or be exceptional or a genius. Being normal is good too.
For anyone struggling with being able to make mistakes, I started by simply dropping items and realising that not a single person noticed or yelled at me and some even helped me pick it back up. Ofc I wasn’t dropping like a whole bag but just slightly shove a pen so it rolls off the table or “clumsily” drop an eraser. Nothing that anyone can get hurt by. It works wonders to break this idea that a mistake will ruin everything you’ve built up so far and this facade you have will crumble. It won’t. I hope this helps someone else recover even just a little bit. Like bob ross said, it’s a happy little accident!
It’s so hard trying to live up to people’s expectations and as a recovering perfectionist myself, I get how hard it is to let go. I used to have this mindset that I needed to “practice until mistakes could no longer be made” aka practice until my muscle memory was playing perfectly. It was so hard to face any criticism too because it felt like my whole self worth was being questioned at that moment too. I just hope mr kang can teach him that self worth isn’t performance based. Love is unconditional and a mistake won’t affect it. People’s expectations can go screw it! I know of violinists that admit to messing up a whole line but not a single person noticed because of how confident they are and how they have character and emotion in their playing. People won’t remember the few mistakes over how a piece made them feel. Also, it’s okay to be ordinary. This is a hard lesson but you don’t need to stand out or be exceptional or a genius. Being normal is good too.
For anyone struggling with being able to make mistakes, I started by simply dropping items and realising that not a single person noticed or yelled at me and some even helped me pick it back up. Ofc I wasn’t dropping like a whole bag but just slightly shove a pen so it rolls off the table or “clumsily” drop an eraser. Nothing that anyone can get hurt by. It works wonders to break this idea that a mistake will ruin everything you’ve built up so far and this facade you have will crumble. It won’t. I hope this helps someone else recover even just a little bit. Like bob ross said, it’s a happy little accident!