It’s so unhealthy but why do I want the Mc to fall for the captain and give him somethin...

It’s so unhealthy but why do I want the Mc to fall for the captain and give him something to live for? Is it because the captain saved him long ago but they forgot? Is it because it makes me sad that he was manipulated to thinking that his only purpose is the kill Almuten but I want him to find a new purpose to live? Is it because I like their dynamic when they’re nice to each other? Is it because the captain put all else aside (including the dangers) to help the mc out of that awful place. Is it because it’s plain as day to see that he cares for the mc but has lived an awful life and doesn’t know how to properly show it or understand it? Is it because I’m kinda scared the mc still is so loyal and wants to keep seeing his brother even when he’s turned batshit crazy and now has tenticals for a face? Why am I so damn conflicted by a fictional character? Why do I care so damn much? Why the hell is this comment so long. Why the fuck am I still writing?!?!