Woah damn detailed. Preach. I agree so much. ML is just so damn private and while I don’t wanna force him to open up, he might have to do his partner could understand him more and not feel insecure. It takes two (monogamy) to create progress in a relationship, people tell MC to build trust but MC can’t just build trust ALONE when his answers aren’t being answered or just shut off from it.
The stark difference you talk about is so true and makes sense. The dynamic is so ehh here. One is too private and one is too open about his lives, they really don’t seem compatible. How long does MC have to wait for ML to open up if they stay together?
So I think they should break up. I don’t know how they will resolve this.
I get what you mean, I think the main issue this people often have the misconception that an open relationship or an unlabeled/non-traditional relationship is easier, and requires less effort and less communication but it's the opposite. Things like FWB and open relationships don't have commonly set rules that monogamous relationships have and therefore need WAY more communication and effort to maintain. Both these characters need A LOT of self-growth and work as well as need to look at this relationship WAY differently if they ever want to get back together in the future.
Ugh stop writing good. And no way in hell are casual relationships easier, they each have their pros and cons. I’d personally be more emotionally hurt in monogamous relationship if our set rules were broken.
Both MC and ML need to talk. Communication should always be #1 priority in a relationship aside from safety. I hope this drama won’t go on for over 20 chapters, I trust this author, I’d like to trust them at least.
It’s getting harder to trust authors cause some of ‘em end up doing a 180 shit growth/development.
Both gotta come to a mutual decision, either break up or decide to stay together, come to an understanding and make a plan.
Generally, I believe both types of relationships suffer great emotional harm (though we may not initially see it) when rules are broken, although in different ways. If a rule is broken in a monogamous relationship, it hurts because you trust your partner (your trust in others is affected), whereas if a rule is broken in a non-monogamous relationship, it hurts because you trust yourself (self-doubt can emerge and self-confidence can take a huge toll). Whatever our feelings may be regarding either issue, they have a significant influence on the way we approach, perceive, and interact with relationships in the future.
Also, I totally agree with you about the struggle of trusting authors lately. There are some stories I had to drop for a while because the angst was going on for too long and it was hurting me too much.
See my issue here is for open relationships communication is a BIG thing, this includes the fun, and the uncomfortable talks (literally every little thing is talked about). You have to be willing to have an open dialogue with your partner(s) about various things and all partners need to retain an equal amount of vulnerability. What makes me uncomfortable about this relationship is a couple of things but I think the main thing is the difference of vulnerability between the two partners and the lack of communication on certain topics. The MC met the ML at his most vulnerable and instantly shared almost all of his secrets with the ML, however, we've seen that the ML is very private and shares minimal information, to the point that the MC has learned most of his information about the ML from other people (secrets aren't a bad thing, but a difference in vulnerability affects the power dynamics in a relationship). I think it's this stark difference that made the MC so insecure. Also, the ML communicates very selectively leaving no room to discuss topics he doesn't want to talk about.
Now this doesn't mean the MC is not also at fault. He should have gone to cool off and collect himself before making any accusations. Also, the language he used was chosen very poorly (I get he was emotional), but he needed to open an unbiased dialogue not use love or accusations to pull the convo his way. He also agreed to something he wasn't initially comfortable with because of pressure (which can't hate too hard everyone does, but you can't place the blame on someone else because of the outcomes)
I don't blame him for coming to terms that he didn't want to be in that type of relationship though, many people think they are okay with something until they actually experience it (consent can be withdrawn at any time and that applies here as well). He may have 'known going into it' but that doesn't mean he didn't still feel pain.
Honestly, neither of them should be in this type of relationship because neither possesses the proper tools to maintain it in a healthy manner. They are both in the wrong and both have things they need to work on.