2018 was only 5 years ago and I'm still feeling so broken about the whole ordeal of the manga because I myself also have mild mysophobia. I say it mild because I'm still battling with my irrational thoughts now and then. To think that you're so cool with rereading it makes me want to reread it too after these years. Or maybe I'm just a bit envious Shirotani has Kurose LMAO
I think we're all a little envious of Shirotani having Kurose cause same ╮(￣▽￣)╭
Well said I remember when the chapter was always slowly being uploaded and how I remember the readers at that time will always reread the whole chapter again cos it's never felt enough with the released of one chapter at that time and also try to understand what the author try to convey.... Also the fact that the chapter becoming shorter towards the end the agony of that time
Don't read it
I reread this again after several years and my feelings haven't changed since the first time I read this. I still love this manga and loved how the ending was open ended. Though I may be lying if I said that I don't wanna see more of their relationship. I really wanted to see how they would progress but the ending feels like I can give my imagination more wholesome endings for them.
Now, for newer readers, if you read this and stop midway without reading through the end, it will leave a bad taste in your mouth. Especially if you skip reading their flashbacks. This is coming from someone who was disgusted at first because of how the "therapist" and "patient" was depicted in this manga. However, if you clearly read the first few chapters, they didn't explicitly have a "therapist" and "patient" relationship. Shirotani even asked about the payments and how they would conduct their meetings and Kurose said that there would be no payment and they would meet during Kurose's day off, which is saturday. This baffled Shirotani because Kurose was a stranger back then. In return, Kurose asked if they can be friends and think of the act as a friend helping a friend. However, Kurose eventually said that he would reveal his "motive" once the 10th slot was filled.
Reading the manga now would definitely feel like they've rushed into things but in the timeline of the manga, they have several weeks into their daily lives that they haven't met each other. We might not know all the things that they were thinking in those times apart.
I feel like Kurose really wanted to help Shirotani because of his mysophobia as to solve the guilt he was feeling for the author who he thought died back then because of him. However, he felt other feelings as they became closer. He started to like Shirotani. Kurose even distanced himself because he may have thought that he shouldn't have those feelings towards Shirotani. In chapter 8, Kurose said he was afraid of what he might do if he did not distanced himself because Shirotani viewed him as a doctor which is their form of trust. However, when he saw Shirotani's expression when he almost kissed him in Chapter 5, he felt like he had broken Shirotani's trust which did not feel right for him. Hence the distance (which was about a month in the manga's timeline).
Anyway, I'm not saying that you shouldn't criticize everything that you read especially with all the yaois being released nowadays. However, you should also learn to understand the things you read. Try to view the story in each of the characters' perspective.
Spoiler Ahead about the 10th slot.
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Also, Shirotani's mysophobia stemmed from his father saying "I can know what you are feeling by patting your head" and the thoughts he had when he was inside the closet during that horrible experience in his childhood. Hence why the 10th slot is "being head patted". He felt like people would find out about his past when they touched him or touched the things he touched. He felt vulnerable hence why he hates being touched. He was also called disgusting by that awfully wretched girl and he hated that he touched himself during that time. That's why he wanted to wash off all the "impurities" because he felt impure at that moment.
This was a long read, but if you read up to here, thank you I guess. I just wanted to share my thoughts.