Responses
QAQ This was really good!! You have talent, great job!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, this was amazing!
THIS WAS EXTREMLY GOOD, OMG I LOVE YOU WAH IT SUCH A SHAME THAT THERE'S NO ONE TO SHOW YOUR TALENT. I really love this one, I hope there's a continuation to this, and I hope I could talk to you and read more of your writing,anyway its really good (p.s I hope the man fell in love with the young boy tho/?)
So I wrote a scene that i'm pretty proud of and I really want to show someone but I have no one to show it soooo i'm just gonna post it here and hopefully someone tells me what they think about it.
Sorry about any mistakes~
A young boy stood still as the cold wind blew around him, his hair tangling up and his loose clothes swaying with it. The young boy was looking down at his bare feet, they were bloody and dirty, full of scratches from not wearing shoes. He slowly reached out his shaking hand in front of him, his dark emerald eyes following the movement. He grabbed onto the metal railing in front of him, exhaling a small breath he took another step forward as he let his other hand grab onto the railing. Slowly raising his head he looked at the view in front of him. Sunlight shone across the city in front of him as the sun slowly set to rest. Street and building lights had begun to start to turn on, lighting up the few dark areas. Above the busy city few white clouds drifted through the darkening sky, the wind slowly pushing them away over the mountain that stood near the city. As the boy looked over the city he could feel something watching him from behind.
A man sat a few feet behind him, leaning against the wall of the roof entrance, a lit cigarette in hand. He watched the young boy who continued to looked over the city, the man's chapped lips set in a straight line. He brought up his cigarette to his his mouth and took a big breath of smoke before exhaling it. A deep cough erupted from his chest, a few more coughs followed before it stopped. Scratching his short beard he spoke to the young boy. His voice rough and unpleasant to hear.
"Come on, do it"
The boy continued to look over the city that was slowly getting ready for night. His hands begun to shake more as he could feel the dead stare of the man behind him. The wind turned more violent, blowing cold air right onto the young boy, making goosebumps appear on his arms.
"Jump"
Hearing that word the boy swallowed hard, his grip on the railing tightened as he slowly leaned over of it. Looking straight down he saw people walking around, normal people who were going home to their families and warm houses. His eyes widened slightly at the height, his breathing started to fasten, his heart begun to start racing, slowly he leaned away from the railing.
The man watched with cold eyes as he saw the boy shakenly start to lift up his leg onto the railing. Taking another breath of the cigarette he brushed his hand through his greasy hair as he exhaled the smoke. The boy was now sitting on the railing with one of his legs over the railing in the air while the other one safely on the concrete roof. The man huffed through his nose, a noise of amusement coming from the back of his throat as the side of his mouth twitched upwards.
The young boy's grip on the railing was deadly tight, his whole body was shaking violently. Taking a breath he inched the rest of his body off the railing. He had not let his gaze be removed from the sun in front of him, the beauty of it was enticing. The bright yellow changing into a sweet golden orange, changing the sky into light blue, orange and even some parts light pink. If only he could fly, if only he could jump off, fly and never return. It was like he almost could, but he new the reality of what would happened if he jumped. Letting out a breath he slowly closed.
The man's eyes narrowed slightly as he watched the boy lift up his air-born leg and brought it back onto the roof. He watched as the boy slowly collapse onto the ground, his hands now loosely holding onto the railing and his head resting against the bars that separated him and the fall. A single word escaped the man's chapped lips and rotten teeth.
"Pathetic"
A single tear ran down the young boy's cheek.