you are more self aware than like 75% of yaoi readers alone by asking this question. you're right that yaoi has a bad reputation of fetishizing gay people. most authors are women and some of them write/draw yaoi as a form of escapism and catharsis from their conservative, sexist society. i would suggest you make some gay friends IRL and participate in pride month if you really want to know what gay culture is like (don't be weird about it). it's quite different from what's written in these fictional stories
I already know to keep my bl reading and gay people irl seperated they arent the same as real people just as you said. and tbh some yaoi are just so idk how to describe it, but just fetish content and i try to avoid those a bit. I'm pretty introverted so i dont have that many friends but i do have some gay(?) friends.
But thank you for your answer (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
That's a bit of a loaded question. I feel like most people read BL because a lot of straight and yuri romance/smut stories are lacking. I love Yuri, I'm way more attracted to women, but, I don't read it as much as I'd like since a lot of it either lacks or is geared towards cis men. Everyone and everything is fetishized at the end of the day. Yuri/yaoi/straight romance would all really benefit from a dose of reality. I look at it as you need to approach it realistically and acknowledge there's a massive difference between yaoi and how actual queer relationships work.
Don't be like this woman really. ;; https://www.mangago.zone/thing/about/686808/
Reading yaoi in and of itself isnt a bad thing. I have been reading Boys Love manga since I Was at least 10 years old, only to realise I was a trans queer man. I wasnt reading it to fetishize gay men, because even before I was aware of who I was, I could only ever relate to gay men. So reading Boys love has always been comforting to me. But in that time, I have come to meet a lot of women who dont even support gay people, but only read yaoi to get off on it as their weird fetish. Reading Yaoi doesnt make you a LGBT+ ally, and a lot of yaoi manga I have read shamelessly justify sexual assault and harrassment. I do understand that a lot of BL manga creators are queer women or even transgender men/transmascs or queer men writing under a female pen name, but yaoi usually gives me the ick. Just keep in mind that yaoi and Boys Love (shounen ai ) are not the same, yaoi is almost always just fetishizing male&male relationships, Shounen AI from my own experience is much more wholesome and much more realistic and doesnt justify assault as often. I would recommend Bara (a Genre of manga written by queer men for queer men) but most of it is just smut, and I'm more of a romance type of guy. Danmei is also very good (chinese shounen ai). This genre of manhua has incredibly good stories with interesting Plotlines that dont necessarily Center the queer relationship, but definetly includes it. It usually depends on a manga itself, they have become far less problematic as the years have passed. But I still stear clear from Shounen Ai manga written by straight women because they constantly claim that the Protagonist isnt gay but that guy is just an exception, while they make the only gay guy in the manga a fucking terrible person. Why do these fuckers only use me as a fetish and in the same breath are violently m*sturbating at the thought of calling me a homophobic slur??!?! I hate fujoshis and those types of authors with a burning passion. This is not a threat, I just dislike them for hopefully understandable reasons.
I totally agree with what you said! And I also really hate the assault and rape and all that sort of stuff in bl. I also don't like the: I'm not gay but I do like your dick trope. (If yk what I mean). And I totally agree with your opinion on danmei! One of my fav series is one! And I don't want to shame anyone but masturbating to yaoi is a bit weird imo
But anyways thank you for your reply (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
(And if you have recommendations for me to read I'll gladly hear so!)
Is it really bad to read yaoi? Because it has a really bad reputation online for fetishising gay people. So i was wondering if its wrong to read yaoi.