My friend's parents' age gap is 20. It ain't that big of a deal

well first you need to learn what grooming is, because you seem to think its just manipulation, but thats not what it is and again, you showed that you dont know what grooming is or why it is so serious. additionally, i also said large age gap relationships arent always bad, but it heavily depends on what age the younger one is (and also how they know each other, as other things can be problematic like if they are boss and employee which brings in power imbalance).

its interesting though how actually... you actually have a pretty healthy understanding of fiction and reality! a lot of people just say "fiction doesnt affect reality" and move on, but its nice that you acknowledge that isnt the truth. because fiction does affect reality, and reality affects fiction, and to trying to separate the two is irresponsible and scientifically incorrect.

as for how to learn more about why grooming and large age gaps in relationships are often (but not always!) bad, please just use google. read about what grooming is (because it is not just the same as manipulation!), read about power imbalance in relationships, etc etc. i also used to think the way you do btw, so i get it. when i was a kid id see an 18 year old dating a 27 year old and go "well theyre both adults so its okay" because i didnt understand power imbalances and how the brain develops and matures. not every large age gap relationship involves grooming, but the one in the story definitely does, and it is also romanticized, and that is not olay.

thanks for being willing to discuss this, though!

I didn't notice your reply my bad. I don't think grooming is just manipulation though?

I'll try searching what u mention later but honestly, I need to know the exact source of a study that show there's more age gap relationship that is associated with grooming and is more detrimental in comparison with healthy age gap relationship.
I'm sorry but as a science student I do need a research with exact value for me to believe it

I dare to say this bc of my experience and my surrounding as i have yet to see age gap relationship with issues.

Nah, thank you too!