Ehhh idk guys, seems like consent to me. ML wasn't slurring or physically unstable and cou...

Wynter November 4, 2023 3:51 pm

Ehhh idk guys, seems like consent to me.
ML wasn't slurring or physically unstable and could easily hold/follow conversation. The only sign he's not sober is how flushed his face is and how clingy he's being.
ML is tipsy for sure but not drunk to the point where MC is assaulting him (esp after multiple check-ins all throughout) by not rejecting his advances. Being inebriated doesn't automatically equate to being unable to make informed decisions imo.
It definitely would've been wiser not to given that it's their first time and he's not totally sober but that doesn't make this rape.
Just my two cents based on my own experiences as the 'tipsy during sex' party

Responses
    parmalatee November 4, 2023 4:07 pm

    he was waiting in the car instead of going there himself because he was physically unstable, he wasnt even the person that called, it was the driver, why? if he could easily hold conversation why the mc got tired trying to talk to him? he clearly gave up and left a sigh after asking the question about the fingers. even the mc calls him drunk a lot of times and thinks "maybe I should make sure he gets drunk more times" after they start doing it ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭

    Wynter November 4, 2023 4:09 pm
    he was waiting in the car instead of going there himself because he was physically unstable, he wasnt even the person that called, it was the driver, why? if he could easily hold conversation why the mc got tir... parmalatee

    The first bit seems like speculation to me. I'm judging his physical capabilities by what we actually see, and we never see him stumble or sway or anything to imply he's wasted.

    Wynter November 4, 2023 4:12 pm
    he was waiting in the car instead of going there himself because he was physically unstable, he wasnt even the person that called, it was the driver, why? if he could easily hold conversation why the mc got tir... parmalatee

    And they continue to hold multiple conversations after that sighing bit, which is when ML is telling him that he's not especially drunk and MC eventually takes his word for it and drops the subject bc he believes him. The comment about making him drunk more times did make me a bit uncomfy but him making comments (that I imagine were meant to be comedic) about the other acting cute bc he's tipsy doesn't make him drunk

    parmalatee November 4, 2023 4:37 pm

    From how I see, he drops the subject because he sees that he's drunk, he thinks something like 'What's the point in talking to him like this...' after that. And you didn't find an excuse for the driver having to call instead of him. Also the MC saying he likes him without thinking, after having thought that he never thought about him that way and not coming to an answer himself yet, he just said it without depth, even though he knows now what the ML 'like' is about, I think he did that because the ML is drunk, and he just wants to go along without having a proper talk about the misunderstanding while he is like that? But for sex, he is okay. #-.-) Theres a lot of nuances like that showing he is drunk and that the MC knows he is drunk

    Wynter November 4, 2023 4:59 pm
    From how I see, he drops the subject because he sees that he's drunk, he thinks something like 'What's the point in talking to him like this...' after that. And you didn't find an excuse for the driver having t... parmalatee

    That's fair and makes sense, but it's not how I read the scene. I feel it can be argued that MC isn't aware of the extent of ML's feelings for him. All he knows before that point is that ML maybeprobably tried to kiss him and we know he can be a tad dense in the romantic department.
    The part with the driver calling and him waiting for the MC in the car instead of going up honestly didn't feel significant to me but rather the author's way of setting up the scene so we got the reveal of ML all flushed in the backseat. Like I said I'm basing my opinion off of how he actually acts and the fact that I just don't see them adding in all those check-ins from the MC if their intent is to portray that ML is drunk and the other knows it.
    I think maybe you're looking too much into MC's intentions and drawing the conclusion that he's actively manipulating ML, no offense intended!
    And also I am going off of the raws with my opinion (and my own shoddy translation) where ML is very much lucid during sex and they also have a lengthy discussion about what happened the morning after, during which ML is not even a little hungover and is over the moon about this development

    parmalatee November 4, 2023 5:26 pm

    how can it be just a coincidence that the driver had to call? I went to reread this part just to see if I was wrong and it became even worse, the driver said "he is VERY DRUNK and just keep repeating you address..." I think those drivers are common in KR because I already saw this before in others korea dramas/manhwas, people in KR drink A LOT. But lets just get over with this, as you said, he was undoubtedly drunk, but the exact level of intoxication isn't clear. In such cases it's better to be safe, it was a risk he took, waking up the next day with no memory of the wouldn't have been surprising. I don't have any objections to consensual sex while drunk, especially for someone like me who's super shy. But I think it has to be with someone I already trust and have established prior consent with, not as a first-time sex with someone who isn't my boyfriend yet like this...
    The MC, tbh, is lacking in common sense, not just in this situation but throughout the entire manhwa. He didn't even consider the possibility that the ML might misunderstand he being gay after showing the dildos and saying he uses it to somethig lol

    Wynter November 4, 2023 5:47 pm
    how can it be just a coincidence that the driver had to call? I went to reread this part just to see if I was wrong and it became even worse, the driver said "he is VERY DRUNK and just keep repeating you addres... parmalatee

    Eh I wouldn't call it a coincidence, maybe more like a storytelling tactic that doesn't land from an IRL pov, but that's based entirely on my opinion that ML isn't too drunk to be doing this. From your perspective I can see how that would color their interactions badly.
    I do agree regardless that it was irresponsible. I've had drunk sex (not totally wasted mind u) with someone I didn't have an emotional connection or relationship with and it was consensual but it doesn't mean I should've done it. Our worldviews are a bit different but I'd say we both agree that having sex with someone who's too intoxicated to consent is wrong and makes that person a POS.
    I also think we have very different opinions about the MC lol I personally see him as neurodivergent so some things that should be obvious to him just don't register. He'd probably drive me nuts if I didn't see him that way

    Wynter November 4, 2023 5:52 pm
    how can it be just a coincidence that the driver had to call? I went to reread this part just to see if I was wrong and it became even worse, the driver said "he is VERY DRUNK and just keep repeating you addres... parmalatee

    Sorry, not to drag this on but I reread it and it's a bit weird that the driver says he's very drunk but he's also able to remember and recite an address that he's only been to once before. Like if he's that drunk there's no way he'd able to recall that info..right? I only have movies and my experience to judge that on lol

    parmalatee November 4, 2023 7:22 pm

    Lol, isn't it a common thing for people to get drunk and call their exes? They've got those numbers memorized, and when they're drunk, they call and regret later ( ̄∇ ̄"). I never saw this personally, but it's a common joke, or it's in movies and such... I think that scene was meant to highlight just how much the ML likes the MC. Plus, he was kind of passed out drunk/sleeping when the MC arrived; at least, he sobered up a bit before they started... anyway, you might be right; maybe the MC is neurodivergent. I think I might be too. When I said he is lacking in common sense, I don't hate him for that, as I lack in that a lot of times as well. Everyone can be weird like that sometimes. However, I do think that he could learn that, as we both agree, it was kind of risky, it was kind of irresponsible. It's possible that the author's perspective and the differences in korean culture, where people tend to drink heavily, play a role here. For me, it's clear that the MC knew the ML was drunk and took advantage of this, but he didn't see it as wrong. It's not like he was passed out; he could speak, as you said, almost normally, so he could 'consent,' but he was clearly intoxicated, and that was affecting his decisions. So, why let him make such an important decision, like having your first gay experience, which is kind of like a second first time, losing your gay virginity (lol, I don't know, isn't that important?) while drunk? If they were both drunk, it would feel less bad imo. Since the MC was sober, he could have been the responsible one. But anyway, I get your point that he was okay enough to consent too. I guess people can see it both ways, even more when you already read the next chapters raws, but let's just say in real life, knowing just this start, we both agree that it would be the best to play it safe in this case. Imagine if someone got into your house with a driver like that? At least everything ended up well and he wasn't really that drunk, I'm happy. I wonder if they are going out now? The ML knows they both 'like' each other and they had sex, but there's that misunderstanding. The MC will have to talk about it or pretend it never happened (≧∀≦)

    Wynter November 4, 2023 8:23 pm
    Lol, isn't it a common thing for people to get drunk and call their exes? They've got those numbers memorized, and when they're drunk, they call and regret later ( ̄∇ ̄"). I never saw this personally, but i... parmalatee

    Ooh good point, yeah, makes sense that they'd play into that trope. It is a classic lol
    Maybe sleeping in the car helped him sober up a lil? Wish MC had gotten him a glass of water or sum at least but I guess they weren't really thinking logically at that point.
    I totally can understand where you're coming from here. Also i admittedly had the exact same thought that this would've been more tolerable if the MC had also been drinking so there's not that sharp divide of mental capacities. My base opinions on it still stand but yeah, this isn't how I would've liked for their very first time to go (esp for ML bc of the points you just made) either. It wasn't the MC's finest moment.
    I'm really curious to see how everything plays out between them the morning after (tho the sex scene takes place over the next 4 chapters, just so ya know in case you'd rather not read it). I'm a bit worried there's going to be some unnecessary misunderstanding or something but I hope not. I really want the MC to be good for the ML bc he (ML) turned out to be an absolute sweetheart and I love him lol

    I think it's okay for people to feel different ways about it so long as we can all agree that improper/incomplete/revoked consent isn't consent and it's BS. And yes, I agree that IRL the best choice would've 100% been to get the ML inside, get him some water/food, then maybe have a lil talk for clarification before letting the ML sleep it off. Tbh I think I was feeling overprotective as well bc there's an overwhelming amount of rape in yaoi and this is one of precious few that I've read and am seeing as wholesome and moderately healthy aha ╥﹏╥

    Anyway! I'm really glad we could discuss this like adults and see each other's POVs even a little. It's understandably a very serious and sensitive subject, and I really appreciate you hearing me out despite how frustrated you might've felt (which again, given the subject matter, very understandable) (●'◡'●)

    Wynter November 4, 2023 8:30 pm
    Lol, isn't it a common thing for people to get drunk and call their exes? They've got those numbers memorized, and when they're drunk, they call and regret later ( ̄∇ ̄"). I never saw this personally, but i... parmalatee

    Oh and you're all good, I didn't think you hated him for being a bit of a weirdo! My impression was that you disliked MC's moments of thoughtlessness bc of how they could affect our ML, which makes sense. And y'know there's a saying that if you think you're neurodivergent then you probably are lol I got diagnosed last year as ND but I was self-diagnosed and pretty certain about it for years before that. I'm not certain about the MC of course but he's been giving me those vibes since the beginning. It's like the ML became his special interest lol

    parmalatee November 4, 2023 10:34 pm

    Yeah, it was nice, thank you for explaining your opinion like this. Sometimes, when I'm annoyed by something I read, I tend to go on an emotional rant, being a bit harsh at first. Then later I regret it and get apprehensive about reading the replies, especially if people are defending it and being rude in return, so sometimes I just forget about it and stop reading the forums comments etc in question. But you were so nice! Haha, it was a pleasant discussion.
    (I read the chapter already a bit uncomfortable because of the things I said, then got even more annoyed with so many people praising the consent here)

    I understand why you'd be protective, and this one feels more realistic, psychological, and cute. Rape would ruin everything. What happened was not that bad, it can be somewhat ambiguous. I also adore the ML. It's rare for a male lead to be this shy, cute, and loveable. At first he was annoying but not now, I hope the MC treats him well too; now they have each other to be themselves with, I also hope for a very cute and healthy relationship (▰˘◡˘▰)

    By the way, reading this as it's being released is challenging because I forget a lot of things lol. One thing that puzzled me in this chapter was that the ML didn't seem to know how to create a hickey; he was actually biting the MC. Do you recall if the ML is genuinely innocent and inexperienced, even with women? Or was it because he was tipsy/drunk (I don't want to discuss this anymore XD)?

    I think you might be right about the MC. As he seemed kind of obsessed, but not in a romantic way yet. I'm curious to see how things will unfold from now on.