to my fellow introverts

Nudge is completely different than ignoring your wishes and forcing you into a situation you are 100% uncomfortable with. Nudging is slowly acclimating you to new experiences until you get used to them little by little. It’s learning to crawl before taking baby steps then walking then walking faster into a jog. It’s not sprinting for dear life. This top just saw his partner shake his head no then ignore it and do whatever he wanted. He also knows that the bottom has an issue with party people and loud people and with extroverts. He’s extremely introverted and strongly dislikes spending time around extroverts. Period. My man said no but got thrown into the deep end anyways when he can’t even swim yet. You may have ended up in a better place due to your “nudging” extrovert friends but not every introvert will. Extroverts have put me in so many dangerous and scary situations and laughed it off because that’s just an average Tuesday to them. Going to parties and doing drugs and forcing people to drink when they didn’t want to is not how introverts want to get out of their comfort zone. Party people like the tops friends are 100% going to be the type that hand drinks to the bottom and pressure him into talking with them and making small talk and I’m pretty sure (from what we’ve seen of them already) they will be the same pushy type of people as the top is. This is NOT a good thing and it won’t be a good thing. Even if the end of the book has a good ending and everyone is happy, it won’t be a good thing for introverts.

I understand where your are coming from and I'm sorry you were put into unpleasant and dangerous situations, I'm truly sorry you had to go through that and your feelings are fully valid
but I think it's important to clarify this is a comic and because of that we are able to sort of get a better view and understanding of the person's (the top guy) intentions and I think it's fair to say that it doesn't come out of malice and that he wouldn't just laugh it off if the uke were to be a genuinly concerning situation. Yes, you're right he should have played it better at certain moments
the main reason I expressed myself the way I did, was because I noticed that rather than just being shy, he presented a rather a hostile, aprehensive and rather defensive behaviour towards people almost like a traumatized rescue dog (ironically I often have fostered dogs like this) and encasing more social or I guess "party" people to all be same and not worth dealing with which IS in fact an unhealhty and slightly judgemental mentaility (it's the same as thinking anyone who has tattooes is a sketchy person)
I didn't mean to make it sound "oh this worked for me so it'll work for you LOL" I was merely stating that (and if you feel safe enough in your enviroment that is) step outside a lil bit even for me it wasn't easy and I'm still in therapy since I have vulnerability issues
that being said you're right that it'll probably have a "happy ending" and that it's not accurate to how things should be but, at the end of the day it's just a manga, it's existence won't change reality

That’s fair enough but even for a comic, if someone says no, it’s a no. It’s not an opportunity to force them to be less hostile toward a group of people. We still don’t know WHY he hates loud party people. I don’t particularly like extroverts at all because I’ve only ever met pushy ones who trample all over boundaries in the name of “expanding comfort bubbles”. He could have a trauma like I have. He could just simply not like loud people because he’s a quiet person. I like to read so when someone is loud next to me, it annoys the life out of me and drains me of my energy so quickly. Some introverts just don’t have a high tolerance for social interactions and just one conversation with an extrovert can leave them so exhausted they don’t want to talk to anyone for the rest of the day. In that case, conserving your energy is better. This is a manga so of course it will be a little inaccurate but the main issue I have is the boundaries benign trampled and people acting like that’s okay. He said no so he didn’t give his consent and it happened anyway. He said no to more than just the friends, he said no to the public sex too. He was coerced and pushed into having sex in a place he didn’t feel comfortable having sex in. It’s not really an introvert/extrovert battle but a good person vs a bad person one. Most introverts find it hard to say no and judging by the fact the bottom knew people talk bad about him and he just does his best to ignore it, I don’t think he’s great at confrontation when it’s not someone he’s comfortable with. The fact he said no and was still ignored and overruled… that’s such a lack of respect for the bottom. That’s why I have such an issue with extroverts coming into an introverts life and trying to change it. Introverts don’t walk into an extroverts life and force them to stay inside and read books and go to the comic book store or play dnd. It’s such a disrespectful action to come into someone’s life and try to change them when they are perfectly happy as they are. I no longer befriend extroverts for this reason. Let people live life as they please. There’s even a tedx talk that talks about how being introverted is actually a really really good thing and can be a sign of good leadership skills and content/product creation. It’s not a trait that needs to be changed or altered unless it’s causing psychological distress. He’s not under any psychological distress from being introverted. He should be left to be who he is and he should be accepted and loved as he is. He doesn’t need to leave his comfort zone at all. Not unless HE wants to.

I definitely see what you mean. My concern often comes from a personal place in which (I currently work from home as an illustrator) I never want to see people struggle like I do I spent so much of my time not socializing that it led to sort of not even knowing how to function in society specially work place enviromente or even standing my ground during buisness talks when I went freelance. I relized had reclused myself so much from people that I became pretty much unable to interact normally as in, the more I spent not doing the more I forgot how to and have met several people with the same problem
it was so crippling at times. Boundaries should always be respected as you've said (I just don't expect much from japanese manga I don't really know what it is but they seem to refuse portraying healthy relationships most of the time so I comform myself with whatever isn't SUPER toxic)
AND I DEF UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN BY PUSHY EXTROVERTS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA
specially extroverts who like to make fun of you for being quite AND THEY DO IT IN YOUR FACE LIKE AM I SUPPOSED TO LAUGH?? or those who get annoyed by those who don't share the same energy
for example
my younger sister has always been more reserved and introverted her entire life and was recently diagnosed with high functioning autism so she doesn't take the initiave for talking
and I once overheard this girl saying outloud how she can't put up with quite people and that they seem so stuck up
so ofcourse I got pissed (the anger carried me through) and told her how my younger sister for example was like that but she was autistic and once you actually get to know her she's lovely to chat with and how she really should stop to think what the other person is going through before coming her with judgemental BS
is wasn't one of those "and then everyone clapped" type of stories but she did seem seriously taken back when I said it
but moral of the story I think
- Respect others boundaries
- Don't be afraid to put yourself out there from time to time even if doesn't go well you tried and this random reader is proud of you for trying you did your best
- Appriciate those who make you feel safe and loved
- And not everyone fits a box :)
- Never follow the examples of a japanese manga, I'm judging the japanese I'm just....concerned for them

Yeah I agree with those. I think old manga was really toxic especially the yaoi. New manga isn’t though. I’ve been on a stream of really really good manga that haven’t been showing bad relationships at all. In fact, they even taught me new ways to communicate better with others. Also about the isolation - I also work from home so I understand how isolating it can get at times and that it can make mental health worse. For me, I work from home BECAUSE I have mental health conditions. It actually gives me a break from my anxiety because now I’m not constantly looking for exits that don’t exist when I’m outside. I’m pretty agoraphobic and I have ptsd to boot with anxiety and depression so I’ve got quite the cocktail of conditions but being home with my cats and my dad (I’m 20 so I still live at home) actually gives me a huge relief. I know some people find it stifling when they used to go out more often for school or for work and now they work from home but I work basically 9 hours a day from home and although I don’t exactly love the job, it’s given me so much comfort. I know where every exit is in my home, my cats are my emotional support and they are almost always with me when I’m working or doing something and it allows me to engage in hobbies on my breaks so I don’t freak out and burn out quickly. If you’re finding working from home to be too isolating, maybe working from a cafe or a library or a public park could help? If you’re an illustrator (I’m going to assume you work from tablet not computer but if that’s not the case, ignore me), it might be okay for you to bring your equipment outside with you once in a while to get some fresh air while you do it. Maybe even invest in one of those long swing seats for the garden if you have one. I sketch and write novels/webtoon and I scanlate in my spare time so I try to do things in my garden or if I’m outside already (probably an appointment) I’ll bring my iPad/sketchbook to sketch while I’m there. It might work for you, it might not but it’s always an option. There’s always two types of introverts anyways. One needs social interaction but struggles BEING IN social interaction and the other one just doesn’t want any social interaction at all. You’ll probably find that you like being around people but don’t exactly have the social capacity to behave like an extrovert all day. Like people watching. I’m the type that would rather be in a dark corner reading a book and avoiding humans. Most people don’t actually realise that introversion has types within it so they get confused when they don’t fit into the stereotype of “hate all humans, I want to be alone forever” type.

Oh no I actually do get a good amount of outside time!! :D I have a pet parrot so we fixed the yard with a bird safe mesh and she flies around while I sit and work on a table in the area so she can see me and not freak out
it's also good cause I get sunlight and I'm digustingly low on vitamin D (I do wear sunblock though I'm not about test destiny with skin cancer)
My younger sister also spends a lot of time with me she also draws so we'll sit together for hours just engaging in parallel play XD
(it's basically when you do you're own thing with another person in the room while they're also doing their own thing) it also helps me with deadline anxiety and procrastination cause I have someone in the room who can hold me accountable

Ah im the same way. It’s good to know that you’ve found a method that works for you!