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I kinda get this to some certain extent, except of the don't believe in heaven part, personally I'm really excited to die which is weird for some but my curiosity of what's out there on the other side is something else, because to be honest nothing makes sense in the first place, I'm sure something has to be there and if not, then it's fine too, not like I'll know about it since I'll be nothing buy dust
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I think subconsciously we tend to avoid these type of topics. 'Nobody likes to die' but that is only instinctual. For example when a baby is thrown into the air (no offence intended) it starts to cry. Why? Nobody taught it, just the instinct to live is already engraved inside us from the time we are born. True, people get attached to life. Many a times, we celebrate a baby for being born but when they die of old age or other factors we mourn for them. Death and Life are two sides of the same coin, idk what exactly life expects, but one can only live as long as they remain alive.
I find death discussions interesting especially because I rarely find people who share my point of view. Personally, I want to exit life as if I never existed to begin with, no big funeral, I would rather no one remembers me because if someone who loves me remembers me, it would be painful and it wouldn't do me any good anyway because I'm already dead. It's not like I'm looking down on them and thinking oh yeah, they remember. I don't believe in anything after death except for entering the life cycle and becoming food for other animals. I don't know for sure if nothing exists but I sure hope so. I don't want anything else to exist even if I'm guaranteed entrance to "heaven" or whatever.