why did i even expect otherwise lol

Hello! My apologies for thrusting this conversation upon you so heavily then. I have been back and forth in terms of my opinions on these things for quite a while. I feel very strong and firmly in my beliefs, as of now.

I want to emphasize I don’t think someone is a horrible person for enjoying these stories, and I apologize if I came off that way. I think there is nuance here and discussions to be had, and I think things like author intent and portrayal are very important to these things, which is why I talk about that and about what happens in the story so much.

To relate to you, just a few weeks ago someone called me a “monster,” a rape apologist, and an overall horrible person that needs mental help because I told them that I think they were being cruel for saying that people who enjoy non/dubcon content should go to hell. This occurred multiple times even after I disclosed that I’m a gay man who has been sexually assaulted, and that I have enjoyed those types of works both before and after being sexually assault. They also kept telling me that I “didn’t know what it was like [to be sexually assaulted]” despite them knowing very well that I am a survivor.

I do not think I’ll be able to change your mind, however I hope I can at least make you consider some things - which would include why people get overly upset and defensive over media and the hostility you might see. Not that extreme hostility is justifiable, but that there might be a reason this opposing mentality to your feelings is so pervasive.

I hope that makes sense. I want to clarify that when I first read this story, it felt very much like rape or sexual assault to me - back before I was sexually assaulted myself. Now, I’m finally beginning the journey to accepting what happened and recovering - I do feel even more strongly that way, due to the specificities of my assault (that i will not get into but will say that I spent a year trying to figure out if it was assault and if i ever consented).

Sorry for the long text, but I hope you understand that I don’t come from a place of genuine malice.

Ah, and to add, I think a person enjoying a - let’s say - “bad story” is not a moral inditement on their character. By “bad story” I’m referring to like - morally bad, poor writing or plot, etc. anything that could apply there. You can like what you want, even if other ppl think it’s “bad” - and while people are justified and allowed to criticize and critique a piece of media, it is unkind and cruel for people to dunk on others for enjoying it or force ppl to see comments hating on it. So I hope I also didn’t come off that way either!

Breaking my usual mode of typing/posting here, which is usually heavily abbreviated and mostly careless(haha) because serious topics deserve serious attention. (And also, respectful people deserve equal respect)

First off, thank you for sharing your personal experience. It's clear that this is a deeply sensitive topic for you, and I genuinely appreciate the courage and vulnerability it took to open up about your experiences.

I want to emphasize that my belief in distinguishing between dubcon in fiction and real-life rape isn't intended to minimize or invalidate the experiences of survivors, including yours. I respect that our individual experiences can greatly shape our perceptions of media content, and I understand how your trauma has influenced your perspective.

However, I still believe that fiction and reality can be separated, and enjoying certain fictional narratives doesn't necessarily translate to condoning such actions in real life. That said, I value the nuance you brought up about author intent and portrayal.

I hope we can both acknowledge the importance of mutual respect and understanding when discussing these topics. While we may not fully agree, I appreciate the dialogue and the chance to hear your perspective.

Wishing you strength and healing in your journey ahead