I understand
I understand you all to well..
If you let it, life will bring you to a place where you’ll belong. For quicker results in finding your purpose, try to understand yourself better and do your best with life in the meantime. No job opportunity is out of reach, it just might not be the best for you. Look beyond a job title, but rather for what it is exactly you want to be doing, what will be your contribution to your community. You can do this!
On a personal note, I can definitely say I’ve had a similar experience of wanting to be a singer or actor. But the traits that made me a slightly above average singer (analysing performance, looking to improve, consistently showing up, pattern recognition, being able to copy what I see and work or replicating it) are the same traits that make me excel in Computer Science if you can believe it. You can use your traits for various “jobs” as, ultimately, art and science and other stuff are only separated in the textbooks. Bring it all together with your unique life experience and insights is the contribution you can make.
I know this is long, but I hope it may encourage you to not lose hope, and utilise that hope for your self-realisation (whatever that may become for you)
That's really sweet of you. If I could understand myself better I would end up in good job. I wish I could had a counselor like that or someone like that.
Vent warning -
I love art and I know I'm decently good at it, but I've given up pursuing at as a career but I keep thinking about it even if I know it's not sustainable. I'm so deeply jealous of people who've made their passions into their job it hurts.