I agree with your analysis. I also want to add that people react differently to things, so we can’t paint everyone with the same brush. Just because we think or expect someone to react a certain way to a certain situation, when it doesn’t happen that way, we can’t go around b*tching about it. We are not them.
At this point, my own personal stance with toxicity in my BL is dependent on the characters. If one is total a-hole and the other one a complete doormat, then I have no interest, but a lot of times, either the characters are aware of the situation, and even if not explicitly confirmed, the relationship is not completely one sided.
For example this story.
Both have hurt each other, they’re not going into this relationship with rose-colored glasses, yet they decided to go for it.
I do believe toxic relationships can “work” if both parties are aware of the toxicity because sometimes only 2 broken people can truly understand each other.
Look I get that people don't like rape in fiction, but aside from this being very explicitly tagged from the get-go which means you probably shouldn't read it if you're sensitive to that sort of subject, I've gotta argue in favor of this manga and its portrayal of SA since I've seen a lot of negativity about it online and on social media.
I was actually pretty impressed with this story and the way it went about addressing the subject. I think it's an interesting, realistic, and non-romanticized thought piece and exploration of how, if ever, a relationship can develop or become balanced after something as horrific as assault like that. The author used this story as a sandbox to explore just how far one would have to go to seek redemption and equality after a rape, which is the most debasing acts that can happen to another person. It never once seeks to justify the main characters' actions--they're always shown as they are, something that's not good, pleasurable, or a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. They're both very, very damaged people with a lot of instability, and the story did a really good job of making sure the reader understood that instability. It constantly frames their actions as, like, a question: when can rape be moved on from between them, and when is balance restored to proceed with a healthier (not healthy) dynamic? Does the MC having been black out drunk alleviate some his blame? Does the ML raping him back restore balance at all? Does the MC saving the ML from being raped by others restore blance? Does saving his his life restore balance? It's a really interesting a complicated set of questions that there isn't any clear answer to.
Also...media literacy y'all! Just because there's portrayal of a serious or bad subject in fiction does NOT mean it's endorsed, or shown as a positive thing. It's pretty clear that the author isn't showing that rape is good, just because the main characters work it out in the end doesn't mean it wasn't treated with the gravitas it deserves.