I don't think its toxic because they communicate how they feel now, and the uke has gotten over his former love. And we don't really see enough in the side stories to be sure if there is obsession or not, but in my opinion there isn't, the piercing thing is just to show that the uke has moved on from his former love, also there are many couples that like being obsessed with each other, there are people thay like to be loved in a more intense way. There are people that when are a couple like to be with their partner all the time, like when they hang out with friends, he or she will, at same time, be hanging out with their partner, while other people like to have a clear division between friend time and lover time and like to have privacy and time alone with their friends. So anyway, I don't think it's that toxic. It started toxic, because the uke felt guilt and the seme didn't know how to deal with their relationship, but to me it seems they have moved on from that. The uke doesn't feel guilty anymore and the seme isn't sad or angry anymore, time heals many wounds. I think that's what the author is trying to show us, that even tho they went through so much, the seme loved the uke so much that he was able to get past the pain from before, and the uke loved the seme so much that he was able to grow as a person with him and get rid of that guilt, because the seme did not want the uke to feel guilt.
I'm curious to know if you still stand by that point now with the side story and how Jo In basically lives on the very edge when it comes to his mental health. The very foundation of their relationship is disfunctional and cheating occured in the very beginning of the relationship, thus setting up the precedent that cheating *is* a possibility. Now they're both terrified and in a state of neuroticism 24/7, I can genuinely not understand how this relationship is NOT toxic.
The amount of healing and work a relationship like this (what with its foundation) requires insane amount of communication and healing, and what they've shown in this plot is *not* enough for the literal trauma spiralling that is happening with these two.
Whether or not you believe in "cheaters always cheat" or not, it doesn't change that the suspicion from the other party likely will always stay; in this relationship we see that happening with Ho In who's constantly paranoid that his partner will cheat again. This is not healthy and not sustainable. It's toxic and there's no reason to deny that.
//Sorry for long post, but I've really been thinking about this and the most recent chapter just solidified my opinion on this! In the end this is just a manhwa so I hope that we or anyone else can have an interesting and productive discussion about it. :))!!
Exactly I agree with all you said, both are toxic in their own ways but I’m more mad that Chinwoo even suggested to make him jealous instead of communicating to him, instead increase his insecurities more.
Oh, absolutely! It is quite literally the last thing a relationship as – understandably – insecure as this one needs. Still, it's an "advice from side character"-manhwa and manga trope that's been beaten into the ground.
Even in generally healthy stories like Define The Relationship, this side character trope prevails; the one where side characters further introduces insecurity inte relationship that never had a need for it in the first place.
I hope we all realize that the final relationship between the two MC are still increeedibly toxic and that no one in the past love triangle was ready to be in a relationship yet. Yes, Chunwoo was incredibly disrespectful, but Ho-in's behaviour was borderline (if not entirely) obsessive and sets a dangerous precedent for the relationship.
There's obvious codependency going on between Ho-in and Chunwoo, and the clear jealousy and obsessive issues that were present during most of the story are STILL present by the end of it... Like, why would you want the couple earrings if that was precisely what Taejoo and Chunwoo used to have for years? It feels a lot like overcompensating and trying to prove to themselves that Chunwoo chose Ho-in over Taejoo; the whole thing feels off.
Yeah, a piercing on the ear isn't a lot but have we actually seen any boundaries that have been set? And if there are any, have they in any way been respected? I just feel like this relationship is bound to fail, even if they never formally break up.