Thank you sm for re-reading it so now I don't have to I debated whether I should but didn't think I could withstand it.
You actually brought up a LOT I never noticed. I only read the begging of what you said so far since I have to leave soon, but even that much was still new to me:
Dan having issues with his boss and being blamed for something he didn't do wrong might be one of many reasons why he's so meek. I wish he'd get more frustrated and stick up for himself more, if he had more confidence things might go more smoothly.
I was getting frustrated with Dan not being more forward, but dealing with past trauma, having to step up and take care of his grandma, and deal with his personal life issues all at once, while having to make a big decision with someone high profile? That makes some more sense.
I will read the rest of this later but thanks for explaining so much
Thanks for your sacrifice. Can't wait for the gang to show up and dismiss all of your points again! I agree with everything you said! At the end of the day, Jae is a piece of SHIT.
No problem. Sacrifices were made but for a good cause lol
Its kind of concerning hoe many ppl cant see the rape undertone in this. They way dan is written and drawn out is very "SA survivor trying to cope" its just disturbing.
No fr cuz they would do that.
I bet theyll start saying we are raping them again
I read the first chapters again and i have some thoughts; i read it untill chapter 17 and i physically couldnt go any further from that; so please hear me out.
Ill sum up the first 4 chapters bcuz i find those the most messed up times in this story (IMO)
This will be long.
We get an introduction to jae then dan; we learn abt dans past experience with gay attraction (harassment) and we get a clear thought on how he think of it. (Tbh iw ouldnt be suprised if he was homophobic cuz that shit eould lead to such prejudice)
Dan experience with it is just traumatizing; he didnt only get harassed by a figure he idolized (his boss) he also got fired and victim blamed for it. Dan is now left with the idea that his looks and him in general is for the blame to all of this.
Anyways after the introduction Dan gets a new job as the jae's gym p.t, dan gives jae a p.t session.
I want to point something out when dan accidentaly touched jae's penis i think jae had some disgusting thoughts abt a man he just met; the only reason he didnt hit him is bcuz he saw him as a potential sex toy.
ANYWAYS. Jae invites dan for a "physical therapy session" (which i want to add; why did he lie?? He could've said "i want to have sex with you" but he didnt. This makes me believe he said that on purpose only to drag dan into his trap to pressure him into having intercourse. IMO he knew what he was doing)
We then know jae is gay, but i want to mention the dude he had over. Did you see the way he treated him??? He completely discarded his feelings and his plessure bcuz he simply didnt like it, he then proceed to smash his face into a wall becuz the man made fun of him and wished him the worst (which is VERY understandable) he then pays the man money to shut him up (?)
This man has no empathy or understanding to the ppl around him, he is narcissism if it was a person. (I wnat to add too; he called the man a whore when he is a one too. He literally invited a man he met once to fuck. He is slut-shaming when is the biggest slut in the room)
dan gets ready to start his p.t session as he is intended to do, jae tells him the reason he is here for as he pressures him to have sex with him (he makes his offer tempting and irresistible when it really isnt) dan then without thinking agrees to doing so, he then makes an excuse to go take a bath since he stinks and that when we see what dan would have said if he had time to think.
Dan is VERY conflicted in the shower he ponders if he should leave and not do this (bcuz thats what he really wants to do) but jae goes in his shower; which i find very disgusting. How could he get so comfortable to walk into someoen while they are showing to ahve sec with you??? Have some shame. (This also shows how many times jae had sex ehich supports that he is a slut )
He forces dan onto the bed but dan then confesses that he wants to bail out. Jae THREATENS him, WTF??? He uses the other dude as a way to show what he will do to him if he leaves now he says something like: "dont think ill send you home safe and sound" which is like very. Un-consensual.
After a bit more threatening and nonconsensual sex, jae talks dirty to him saying something like: "how many men have you been with/put it in you" which makes dan disgusted (due to his past traumas and generally bcuz this is simply disgusting. Jae is again here slut-shaming him) dan says and this completely what he says:
"I dont wanna be anywhere near him anymore... i dont want to hear this kind of talk... i just want this to be over" which is tbh heart-wrenching. It broke my heart.
After all that. Dan goes home and jaes wins his fight. Jae comes to the conclusion that consensual sex isnt for him anymore; he liked the rape way too much he wants dan to be his physical therapist (sextoy) but dan isnt anywhere near, he stopped replying to anyone at all whoever it is.
Dan is in his home. Depressed. Defeated. Violated. He couldnt pull himself out of bed to go to his other jobs. And other than that his aggressor is calling him non-stop for wtvvs reason; he called somehting supposidly intemate "a living nightmare" which omg i couldnt help but take it personally. The way he took this is very conceived as SA survivor trying to cope; it hurts to watch. And even through all this he still stands up nad goes to take care of his grandma. What a strong man.
One last thought and ill leave quietly; if the author truly intended for this to be seen as a rape survivor; i truly would congratulate her. She captured the way a SA survivor might feel after the deed but it sucks since she is probably romanticizing it.
Ill end it here; if you have any disagreement with the way i summed it up, please tell me! We will talk and discuss things like adults.
Thank you for your time.