You really didn’t read anything else. He has character growth like immediately after and realizes how stupid it is for him to love the Emperor
He changes his mind the second chapter, the whole book is literally him despising him until obviously they get together towards the end.
"You really didn't read anything else" obviously? That's why i specifically mentioned how i'm ONLY at chapter 1 that time? I already read up to chapter 20 but that doesn't changed the fact that yeo dam was completely blind and stupid for still caring about the emperor to the point that he had to sacrificed his life (although he kind of hinted how maybe deep inside he was just running away, hence he killed himself). It took yeo dam to realize what he did was stupid when the goddess told him he was being tricked but what about the many times he was raped, the time when jin hwa didn't gave him permission to mourn his fayher and bestfriend, when the emperor incapacitated his ankle or when the emperor killed the crown prince (which yeo dam adored) and then raped him in front of his corpse. What yeo dam did in the first chapter was plaid stupid.
Dude, he literally explained when he lost his love for him. He was born to serve the emperor of course he has to serve the emperor no matter what. But, he doesn’t have to love him. Therefore he quickly lost his “love at first sight” bullshit after he saw how the emperor really was.
I only read the first chapter and I already know I'm gonna be so frustrated with the uke. Like how tf are tou willing to sacrifice your own life for someone who raped and tormented you? No matter what he says, that ain't love. This is what worms for brains does to a mf. Also that emperor can choke and burn in hell