Question for all the working adults or college students.

I'm in college and graduating next year, til now i don't know what i want and want to do with my life in the future. My parents suggested this course for me but honestly, i still dont have the heart for it. You're lucky u know what you want and i think u should go with that. Not many people have something theyre passionate about or at least want something in life. You dont have to follow the usual path tho. Try new things, or if u dont wsnt to get married or have children u dont have to. You're the author of your own life. Dont let anyone write it for you

Hi! I've graduated from uni and been working for more than 2 years now.

I think most of national education systems do poor job at giving students idea about their possible future paths. If you're a HS student how could you be so sure you want to study this subject for 4 years straight? How if it turns out it's not something you enjoy? How if it makes you feel pressured instead?

Not a lot of students know for sure what they want. This especially true if they're used to accepting what their parents decided for them. Moreover, uni is definitely not for everyone, no matter how good the prospect after graduating is. Maybe your sister is one of the case: undecided, don't have any clear interest or hobbies, but that's okay. That's part of the process. Don't get involved too much if you get irritated by her, it's something she must go through.

One day you'll be independent. You will receive no money from your parents, and you have to make money somehow. What you can do? The easiest thing is to get a qualification needed for a stable job: a degree. "But college sounds boring, and I don't want to do a desk job!" "A lot of jobs don't need degree nowadays!" But a lot of job still do, and it sets you apart from those without. Think of college degree as an insurance: after graduation, you're free to get whatever job you want. But when economy is slow, and job market more competitive than ever, you'll feel thankful for that degree.

Also this might be obvious but you don't need to work on jobs that are linear to your major. A college degree is that: a means of security. It's not something that will define your life, but it's better prepared than not.

honestly when you start college it isnt really a big deal if you stay undecided, you can focus on you ge's first and that would prolly give you enough time to decide. and i felt this way too before graduating highschool, during my junior year i just thought that life is going to be such a burden. college, work then what? but then i kinda realized that my why of thinking was plain, and that i didnt really have any real ambitions or goals, yk the basic get a job and then build a family thats what i thought i wanted... but theres so many options you dont need to have a set plan of what you want... also for studying aboard you can still do that, you can apply for exchange programs, i think thats easier than fully studying aboard.. i feel like business would be a good major for you, you can build connections and depending on your future career i think you would have more freedom.. dont be scared of being independent, theres a lot of responsibility, but you can learn more (i hoped this help!)

Hey there! I’ll be a college freshman this year and to answer your question, my major is.. undecided! I like to think I have all the time in the world to figure out what I truly like, because who says we have to accomplish something by a given period? For this semester, I chose to take interesting classes so I can dabble into different topics and see if the subject suits me. If you’re having second thoughts about business, take a career class, it’ll introduce you to a variety of different majors/jobs you probably havent heard of!

I totally get this feeling! Not the older sister part, but the feeling of uncertainness and not knowing what you will tackle or how you will even be able to handle it in the future has given me a lot of stress. I am still in college- a junior as of this year, so I have not really gone out into the real world yet... As a matter of fact, with ADHD, depression, and anxiety, I have been overly reliant upon my parents to help me do things that were very hard up until now. This summer, I got a part-time job working as a cashier, and it has helped me with that anxiety and those nasty thoughts a lot. Here is what my mom told me:

Anxiety can turn into an enemy if you let it, but it can also be your strongest tool and weapon. Anxiety lets you know when you are in danger. As teenagers and young adults, many of us have had the luxury of support from our parents up until now and are lacking in the essential skills and experience that we need to stand on our own.

The anxiety I felt (and still feel) and the anxiety you feel are likely very similar here; I was anxious, because I knew that I did not know how to take care of myself. So my advice to you is to start gaining experience and real-world skills; not trigonometry or how to write a perfect essay (though these are necessary for certain jobs), but those essential skills to living on your own such as managing your savings, knowing how to cook yourself basic and healthy meals, knowing how to keep your living space clean... For matters of employment, start getting experience on your resume- start by writing a resume if you do not have one. Build the skills that will help you market yourself to people, put money aside for your future, get a Roth IRA, build up your credit score, and start becoming more independent now, rather than just assuming you will learn everything when you go to college, (that is what I did) which rather feels like just letting yourself get pushed off a cliff. Getting these experiences will help you work towards being an independent and confident person in the future, which will make you more confident in the present, too. While you will face a lot of problems in the future, you will have built yourself a solid foundation so that even when times do get tough, you will still be able to stand on your own.

The experiences you gain as you get different jobs now, will also help inform you about what you want for the future. For example, I am working as a cashier at the moment. From this experience I know I need a job where I can be moving around. I also know that I am good at customer service and pushing buttons, but also that I have trouble taking space for myself. Do you like sitting in a chair all day, crunching numbers? What about problem-solving, mathematics, books, do you like interacting with lots of new people on a daily basis or is that overwhelming to you? Be it a job, volunteer experience, or something else, these experiences will help inform you about what types of environments you like best and what things you want to avoid. From this, you will be able to slowly begin narrowing down what you want to be doing in the future (make sure to try things you have never done before! You never know what may end up changing your life)

As for knowing what you want your college major to be and what you want your future job to be, it is definitely important to consider money and you are right to question what you want, because college is a big investment to make for yourself. My sister went to a very prestigious and expensive university for computer engineering. Due to the monetary investment being so high, regardless of whether or not she decided she still wanted to major in computer engineering, she had to follow through with her choice if she wanted to pay off her debts. She did have the option to go to another less expensive but still very good university where she would have the option to change her path, if she wanted, but she chose not to do that. This seems to be similar to the college choice you are trying to make. All I can say here is choose carefully and make sure you fully understand all of the options available to you.

Something you may want to consider is taking a gap year! Going abroad before making a college choice could be a great way of getting a taste of what it would be like to be in an unfamiliar environment and away from your family for a year. Meeting new people, going places, exploring, trying new things, are all really important parts of growing up and you can gain tons of really valuable and amazing experiences in the process! If you are anxious about feeling boxed in, then start making a list of all the things you are curious about and want to try in life. What do you think you would regret not doing if you went straight into college? Figure out how to get those experiences and do them. After you do them, learn from them. Even if something turns out to be a horrible experience or a disappointment, it is still valuable and something you should be able to learn from.

As you say, this is an anxiety that everyone feels in their own way when growing up, but that does not mean that your worries are any less significant.

My response is super long and dense, so I understand if you did not read all of it. I wish you the best, and remember to listen to yourself and your gut feelings and to be proactive when you feel anxious. Finally, rather than thinking about how your life compares to other people's lives, I advise that you look only at your life. Think about what things you love and what things you want to do. Then think about how you plan to do them. For many, school and jobs are just ways to provide for really getting to live their life and do what they love. Even if you lucky and able to get a job you love, do not allow yourself to settle and make sure to remember that that is not all that there is to life. <3

That was really supportive, thank you very much! I'm still a bit unsure about my subject but I hope I don't regret it too much in the future.(๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Thank you! reading your thoughts actually helped me because my parents thinking affected me greatly. I realised their thinking might be a bit narrow-minded but I got a better view now, thank you again!

Wow, what a positive mindset! I really appreciate the way you related to me, because I was also having the same attitude until a while ago. And the way you said business major might help me regardless of my future choices really helped me settle down on the subject with anymore hesitation. Thanks a lot!

I never knew we could go like that! The people around me seemed so decisive about a subject with a clear goal, that I felt ashamed to still hesitate. But knowing that there are various options, I can't bother to think about other people anymore, its my life and trying new things seems exciting! Thank you!

Not at all! I loved your response! It was deep and really helpful! I especially admire the fact that you are trying to get over your anxiety, Keep up the hard work!

Experiences are really a huge part of life, and thank you for the wonderful suggestions and advice, it really opened up a new vision for me. Your mom seems wonderful as well, please thank her as well.

I thought I was the only one feeling this anxiety with the unknown future, thank you again for letting me know I'm not alone. Your sister seems like the responsible type, hope she enjoys her present job!

The list! the suggestion which literally made my jaw slack, it's such a simple but important thing I ignored. I need to keep my comfort and interests in mind when I choose a life changing decision. Thank you for making me realise this. It was really helpful in in numerous ways.