Sorry for your father. As for your brothers, love is rarely something given, usually it's earned even when you don't realize it is, it's like respect in that matter.
Sadly some personalities don't work well together and there's not much you can do about it. But it don't cost much to ask other if they like you or what they dislike about you, and those kind of discussions can bring you closer.
Lol.. I guess it’s back to my own personality… I’m more of an introvert person.
I do be friendly, but I am not comfortable when people getting too close to me, especially opposite sex (even though my sexuality preferences are man, lol).
It’s like, I would talk to them, play games with them, hangout once in a while, but I don’t want them to get too close or pass a certain lines I’ve drawn on my mind.
Ah, and phone calls scares me or makes me feel a sudden stress even if it’s from my own family or friends, and I don’t know why…
I'm sorry to listen about your father, but you have a pretty big family. It's only my parents, me and my elder sister.
As a guy, I know it's hard to show affection to my sister without feeling to dig a hole and bury myself from embarrassment. The age gap might also be a factor to your estranged relationship. but as much as I want to say every thing will work out, they don't.
From most experiences, you could say I'm a bit of an air headed idiot who doesn't know to read the mood at all. But in the end I apologise and try to bond with her over meaningless things and they always work.
Maybe because I'm an introvert and she's an extrovert its a perfect fit. Is what I would say, but I do most of the talking with her occasional exclamations. And honestly, I enjoy talking to her. I don't feel exhausted or scared that maybe she would judge me.
How about you start trying to open up little by little? because if my family member who's always closed off would try to bond with me, I would feel jubilant and try to help them along the way. Having more love would just make me happier.
Oh, I haven’t though of considering things from my brothers’s perspective as a guy.
Real thanks for your advise.
All of us are currently living separately, especially me in a different country.
Only the recent couple years that we siblings and Mom start getting closer to each other, except for 1 stubborn brother,. We have a family group chat.
And I do have one older brother who is kinda like a mentor who gave me advise, and I can trust him with important delicate things such as managing financial regarding my mom.
I always allocate some sums of money each month for my mom, but even if it’s for my mom, I can’t trust all the money to her, because no matter how much, she gonna spent it all, and most of the times, she is not spending it on herself!
If it was for herself, I would not mind her spending it all.
So I trust half of the money to this brother of mine to save up for my mom’s emergency.
It’s nice to see how you are taking the first step with the improvements of connection between you and your sibling. As an introvert myself, I think that’s take a lot of courage even if they’re your own family. I don’t even know if I would ever able to start be more open-up, because when it comes to it, I got scared and bolt away…
Oh! So you're an adult! and an independent lady who lives alone in a different country?! Ma'am, you have earned my respect from just these facts alone.
Glad to see there's someone you can trust and your joint efforts to get over the past. There will be a lot of bumps along the road but I hope you can persist! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
Your mom sounds strangely similar to my mom. My mom's like 'After you both idiots become independent, I will live in seclusion at a temple.' And because of this fact alone I made a goal to become rich so I can fund my parent's own temple and my dad's leisures in the future.
I'm so glad you complimented me for my courage, since most people just tell me to 'Man up' and take the first step. I really appreciate that.
I just hope you can smile everyday just thinking that 'I are trying' and maybe one day you can all smile together remembering these awkward times.
Haha, your parents with their temple and my mom with her church… that’s a bit funny..
I hope your goal came through. I am also trying to save up to have money for real estate investment so I can get rich and take my mom to lots of beautiful places and eat good expensive food. But it’s not as easy… every time I saved up to some point, something always happened where I would need to use my saving for it. Especially the COVID.
Last year, I lost job for 3 months and forced to use my saving to survive since I’m in foreign country with very minimum to none support from the government there.
And then back to my job, start saving up again, and now because of some stupid people, we got lockdown again, and I am currently jobless for 5days living off my saving again.
But well, I won’t give up, things surely will go back to be better, hopefully.
And I don’t understand people who told male to man up in this kind of regards…
The only time I would tell a man to man up is if they are being violent to those weaker then them, or if them being parasite to someone else without any intention of putting effort to work themselves (talking about that one stubborn brother of mine).
I mean, man can cry, man can get scared, man can be introvert. I also don’t like parents who said “you are a boy, don’t be a cry baby, don’t like colour of pink, don’t try a dress, a lace is not for boy, should play balls not dolls, etc”…
Thanks for your encouragement, appreciates that.
And I do hope when I finally went back to my country to meet up my family, we would be able to smile and hug each other without feeling weird, lol.
I hope you are also having a good day, and a good future to come!
Thx a lot! I hope you get through these tough times!（/TДT)/
Grew up without father figure but still have childhood memories of how bad my father was, and have 4 much older brothers, but none of them act like the twins….