I've told people around me that i am a suicidal

Uselessfujoshi July 1, 2021 11:45 am

But they don't believe me.
I don't hurt myself
I have no cut scar on my skin
And i don't overdose myself to drugs or alcohol

I live like other people do
Still talking about my "seems too far" dreams
And still do my best at work everyday.

But they only feel a bit puzzled when they know that i don't have any saving for my future
Nor did i ever try to visualize my dreams in the future

I am suicidal
But i will not cut myself
And i will not hang that rope

When i said i am suicidal,
I mean that next time
In the future
When i fell to a deep water
I will not trying to swim
Or when a car slide and crushed me
I will not trying to dodge
Or maybe when
I slipped on the bathroom
I will not call for help.

I am suicidal
In a way that i will let this body rot

Responses
    C.B Mouse July 1, 2021 11:48 am

    This, this right here is what I have been trying to express for years

    marikochi❤yaoi July 1, 2021 11:48 am

    wow what a poetic (▰˘◡˘▰)

    Chiki Chiki Bum July 1, 2021 1:27 pm

    I'm the same, but not the way of killing myself, just hoping god won't prolong my age. The future is bleak and my hopes are fading.

    mocharocker July 1, 2021 3:52 pm

    That was so beautiful
    I feel like this side of suicide needs to be talked about more and this poem makes so understandable and is so raw in emotion.
    Thank you for sharing it and I also anyone who is feeling like this can take comfort in knowing they are not alone