Lemme honest...Not really my cup of tea . But it's interesting to read, and i read till the end before i realise it.. LoL, it's rare plot for yaoi...so it might click. I am sorry i can't give you a detail feedback cuz i don't really know anything about (horror/crime) genre...
But it was good reading ,and got me really curious about what next...good luck with your journey...
And i checked for character design in your bio but i didn't find anything... maybe it's private?
TBH I loved it it has alot of suspense leaving someone wanting more more so if you ask me it's something I'd read...... Sorry don't really have any feedback but just want to tell you it's a very nice plot and I love it
i agree with keiji its a unique plot and seems interesting. many yaoi readers are getting tired of the same old stuff so this would def pique the interest of some. i cant see the character designs because your album doesnt show up when i click on your account. so yeah the plot is good the crucial part is execution. be careful you dont make it too fast paced but also not tooo slow. my thing with mystery and murder cases is that they sometimes seem to drag on so yeah be careful with that. good luckkkk
I'm invested by the story. I would totally read this since the plot is my type. I think it would be interesting if the ending the mc would suffer(?), would fall in love(or the devil would) or death. But it's up to you so goodluck! <3
thanks for the feedback!! The pics aren't loading.. any suggestions? idk how to fix that as I'm on an old computer... maybe that's why?
Hello, I'm thinking of creating a manga styled comic. The genres of this particular story is: Horror, Thriller, Crime, Psychological, Tragedy, Yaoi, and drama.
I have posted (well tried to let's see if they actually show up)- The character designs in my album. If you could give me feedback on this story and the art that'll be a huge help to me.
Story plot (rough idea):
It’s a story from the “ukes” perspective. The “ukes” name is Aoi and he’s an idol. He’s very innocent looking and is rising in fame. He’s known to be the angel of the group he’s in. He’s got a very outgoing and cheerful personality. No one knows about his backstory or where he came from, he got recruited when someone took a video of him singing in an underground subway tunnel. His video blew up because of his angelic voice and his beautiful appearance.
Unbenounced to everyone is that Aoi is a serial killer that takes pleasure in seeing people being disenchanted by him. Aoi has a messed up backstory, so he finds pleasure killing people who idolize him. I won’t get into the backstory bc there’s a lot to cover. The backstory doesn't excuse his actions, however it gives you a better understanding of the character. Aoi kills people of any age, gender, sexuality, race, etc.
Aoi has been killing people since he was 17 (he’s now 21).Aoi was scrolling through fans comments and found one about an occult that summons demons. Not really believing it, but still wanting to try out the horrific sacrifice methods, Aoi decides to have some fun and go along with the cults "ridiculous summons". Aoi decides to go to the cults meeting place. On the outside it looked like a club, however in the far back in the basement was the cults "hangout", of course Aoi used an allies and covered himeself up but no body seemed to care anyways. To Aoi's surprise those summons were actually legitimate. A demon (seme number 1) appears before Aoi with a deal that Aoi is to supply the demon with victims (aka his food) so that Aoi himself doesn't become food.
The demon and Aoi sign a contract that basically allows Aoi to get the help of the demon using his powers and in exchange giving the demon food. The contract ends when Aoi dies or cant keep up his end of the deal.
Aoi keeps a steady number of people he kills but recently he starts to decrease the amount of people he’s killing which now throws the demons hunger off. (A lot of people asked me why he stopped. It's not deep he just started to get busy with his work that he had to slow down)
The demon warns Aoi that if he doesn’t start killing more people Aoi will be the next victim. Aoi starts committing more murders, but since he’s rushing them he starts to slip up. Aoi, the idol who’s never had a rumour or scandal, the idol everyone loves and adores, starts to be suspected for recent murders. Dun Dun Duuuunnn
I have a way that he’ll get out of it but his reputation gets ruined big time. That’s just the beginning of the plot, there's a lot more. The second seme I haven't given much thought yet, he'll be a mix of bad and good though. He's not on Aoi's side but he's also not against him.
I’m thinking this won’t have a happy ending, just that Aoi is literally the worst human ever. This story wont have rape because I hate that and its stressful to draw. Aoi is a power bottom, and this isn't a love triangle.
What I'm hoping to accomplish is making a suspenseful story that shows a character slowly going insane.
Please, please give me feedback. Ideas to add to the plot, constructive criticism, even if this story somewhat Interests you. Thank you for reading this. :)