Well said! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
I totally understand your point but geez.. I don't understand it at the same time.
Like you know I wouldn't like to give up on person I like because them didn't want to have a child. I am a bisexual myself (actually, mostly for girls) but I am quite sure I'd like to have children. I am actually considering an adoption or sperm-donating as well.
But having children isn't the only thing I want. I want to raise them with the person I like the most. And reading your post kinda made me angry. Like why you so determined to end relationship at the point your partner tells you that he wants children... Why don't give it a try? Like going to an adoption center, caring for some children...
I understand that I have to respect my partner's wishes but at that point I am not sure I could. Ugh. Just now you kinda made me hope I will never be in love with childfree. Guess, it's true, you need to discuss that kind of thing from the very beginning.
And sorry for mistakes... I didn't notice them since wrote it really fast...
You’re good sweetie. I understand your perspective and why my perspective may have angered you. I have my reasons for not wanting children that are very personal so I won’t unload on you but essentially the reason I am willing to end a relationship over marriage or children is because I want to my partner to be happy without having to sacrifice things they truly care about for me. If marriage or children is something they want and have dreamt about for large portions of their lives then I want them to have what will make them happy. I cannot give them something that will make them happy and that may lead to resentment down the line and I never want to have them regret what could have been. I hope that my partner and I are able to reach a compromise and have a happy life together regardless of our different values but sometimes that isn’t possible. My post was basically me only dawning out the worst case scenario. I shouldn’t have gone to extremes so quickly. I’m sorry I angered you that was never my intention. I hope I cleared things up a bit.
Being in a relationship with someone who atleast agrees to your goals/desires out of said relationship is important. I understand that you wish to have a child with the person you love most, but if that person does not want a child EVER it creates the possibility that somewhere down the line they may come to resent the child or even blame the co parent for having them.
For some people having children are a hardline (be it in a heterosexual or homosexual relationships), and it's not necessarily something that can be 'tried out' because children are a heavy and concious responsibility since you need to make the effort to put your best into their upbringing. Even the duration allowed to couples to decide whether they want to adopt a child by spending time with said child isn't enough to fully make them confront the reality of adopting that child ya know? and that fact is just something one has to come to terms with. It's difficult, but compatibility in the perceived future of the relationship is really important.
Yes, thanks. I calmed down and accept your perspective from now on (◍•ᴗ•◍)
And now I am sure that essential things like this have to be discussed from the very beginning of a serious relationship.
So in a healthy relationship, a couple would discuss becoming a sperm donor or surrogate the moment it comes up. Eventually, they would have to come to a comprise or end the relationship. That's why it is important to have conversations about long-term (marriage, children, career goals, pets) early on. Their relationship is toxic. This conversation about children is something that should have happened in the first year of dating. Alex needs to accept that Cole does not want children, which is entirely normal. I don't like that he makes it seem like something is wrong with not wanting children. But at the same time, if being a sperm donor is something Alex wants to do, then there is nothing Cole can do about it because it is his body and, ultimately, his choice. I never want to get married or have children, but if I have a partner who wants that and genuinely believes it will make them happy, then that is the end of the relationship. That is the end of the relationship because I cannot give them what they believe will make them. I want to respect their choices and their beliefs. I'm sorry I went off I literally have no one to discuss this with. Also, I say all of this a lesbian so I get the LGBTQIA+ nuance of this topic in the community.