Ideas... But for what...
Like do want to write an essay.... Or writing it into a manga for practice... Or making a painting which portray the story...
Ideas just to add on from where I finished off, and I just would like to make a story and post it out somewhere.
Sorry didn't make that clearer
Um can be a bit more clearer, like what you're gonna use it for? Are you gonna devolp this into something deep?..it has a potential to become a horror or crime thriller....
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Ngl that part where you mentioned time specifically ,got me really curious,is there any particular reason?
Thank you for replying
First : I would like to make it into a story and post in onto the internet ofc more clear this was a base.
Second : I was going for something like horror so glad it seemed like that
Third : there is a reason behind the time I just haven't taught of how I'll add it into the story yet
The reason for the time is because of the father the times will tell the story of the father and his true self
Hoped this helped a bit
Oh.. So u mean... U wrote it and like some feedback...
I liked the scenarios... But the both mom and dad name starts with M which makes it kinda unrealistic feel... Also.... No need to add.. Like no fake smile... Cuz, it may give a impact of u , writer, trying so hard to convince us that they were all smiley but now that changed and making us to think what happened to him that he is now trying to kill his parents... Also.... The stain of blodd... Or smell... Is good and that actually made me think.. "Oh! No how did he died!!... Like what happened... Curiosity kill"... But then seeing what written in the page kinda shocked me which is good... And the way u briefly mentioned that... The page flown through this and that... Was ok... But it made me think where did it flown off to... Since in a lot of stories pages like them flown to somewhere important...
U can make it this way... " As Mr. Mark was getting close to his son's home he heard the knocking of windows with a feeling of something eerie in the air.. Which gave a sense of distress... And then he saw some pages flowing through the window... He picked them up.. Which smelled little different than the others.. He didn't mind and noticed what had written there and steeped toward the front door... With each step.. The errieness in the air increased... He ignored and entered and saw no sign of his son... He putted those pages beside the lamp and breds in the table and put a stone on them... He waited... Then it started to become dark each secong... He went to the table and lighted the lamp with the match and then he noticed some strain in the paper and as he was watching the strain.. He read something which taken his breath away "....
Ohh... Srry for the long comment.... Hope it helps... And I guess I wrote way too much...
So srry...
He didn't mind and noticed what had written there....... Wrong choice of words... He didn't mind the purpose of those pages as he picked...
No no thank you so much this is my first time writing this stuff so hearing other people's taughts has helped. And about the page that had flown It had flew out of that man's hand after he had read that bit about the hitman and down into a bucket of water left on the floor I put that there for the son to notice a piece of paper was missing that would give him the idea someone was here. And thank you for the idea it was a really smart idea I'll be sure to add a load of it on. Again I'm grateful u wrote a long reply it definitely helped me, also fair point I'll change the mother's name got any names?
Glad that it helped.... And wow... Now that make sense... And about mother's name... Ummm... Damira... Which means... Heart, mind or secret...
Thank you the name sounds really nice so I'll change it to thank also glad it makes more sense now.
ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~
I need help because I wanna use this story for something good but I don't know how to or where to use it .
( Don't mind if the spellings is wrong or I miss these little things "," or put them in the wrong place and other stuff )
In 1964 a young 13 year old boy name Jordan Marfey lived with his perants Marie Marfey aged 54 and Mark Marfey aged 57 they lived as a happy family no secrets and no fake little smiles.
Everyday was a normal day for them Jordan and his father Mark would be up bright at 6:30 on the clock no later no earlier, Jordan and his father were busy men working deep in the forest chopping the best wood they could get.
Thats how everything went for the next few years.
6 years later 1970 aged 19 now .
Jordan had still lived with his perants, still down in the forest alone chopping the best wood.
His father had became to old now to chop as hard as he could so he was no use anymore.
After a while nights after nights Jordan would be home an hour later, Jordan would come with the fine cut wood at 11:40 sharp every night but now that he came later at 12:40 he would still have the same amount of fine sharp cut wood no more no less.
A year later 1971 aged 20 .
Jordan had now moved out of his perants place and down in the forest.
Jordan had became more quiet and had become more busy then before from when he was 19 years of aged.
He had become more interest in going deeper and deeper into the forest to the point of lostness.
His perants had not heared of him for months now and had started to get worried.
One day Jordan had been out since 5:20 to go down to the millyfore lake and was now 8:36 .
On the same day his father had decided to take a trip and visit him, he arrived at his son's house at 9:05 at the dot.
As the father stepped inside the air was cold and the smell stank of dry blood.
While the father who tried to pass it off as something like cutting himself by accident or anything else, he noticed a pile of papers on the table.
As nosy as the man could get he lifted the first paper up after a few seconds he dropped the paper, as the paper flew around in circles it took a right then had flew into a bucket of water.
The father stood there his face as white as a ghost and nearly not speaking he said.....
' A hired hitman for Maire Marfey and Mark Marfey '
That's all I've got so far so could you tell me what you think and maybe give me a few ideas?...
Thank You